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Thread: For the Kids.. Feat. M16 (From TB)

  1. #1
    T.P
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    For the Kids.. Feat. M16 (From TB)

    An English production lol.. Not written for you fools in some time.. Enjoy..


    Italics = M16
    Normal = True Prophet



    This is to the kids..
    The kids innocent enough to not yet be corrupted
    yet to be shunted, confronted by punches,
    of betrayal.The kids yet to listen
    to the twisted whistlin of deciet..
    Still with the belief that emotions wont run deep
    affecting lifes heart beat
    for the kids yet to suffer defeat over and over
    thinking every story ends with 'happily ever after'
    Still with laughter stocked up inside..
    unaware of the tide that gradually sets in with time
    The tide of crime, the real world becoming visable at the age of nine
    and find The way humans are designed
    To destroy the few that are primed, the way that mankind
    strives to make lives die
    Theyll see that pride comes 1st over commen sense
    People with false pretenses that commense to fuck you over
    before you see sense
    and were all dense enough to think the government has a past tense
    because the present will always mirror what came before
    and im sure that the next open door will bring the same
    ..Its a shame,
    Cos this is for the kids
    The kids that will witness the pain and slain of today
    The kids that will need to stay strong to overcome
    or will become over run by the outcome
    ending up dumbfounded, astounded
    from what is found and from how life is divided
    it cant be prevented, i tryed it
    your lifes already decided u cant hide from it
    'cos lifes a bitch and she defies from reason
    just remember you'll always have yourself to believe in...



    Life grips with clenched fists and sends kids crazy
    lord please dont fail me now ive barely just been found out the croud
    whispers so loud compound emotions you hold dear with cold fear
    of being seen here this place in no mans land a scam
    is tempting when shown through mist every person goes through this
    at some time ignorance is the only lunch time in this education controled
    manifestation of the gold just search for it find love in life the nurture it
    ignore progression towards wealth its a supression just find the essence in yourself
    let it surround your inner soul before you find yourself lost in a hole
    coz this is for the kids oblivous of the rage that await stay of age for today
    for tomorrows has no say, for their fate is already sealed and will steadily be reveled to you
    through a life span of broken dreams even your needs are stolen
    grasp hold to the transparent promise if you want it
    just to let go with scars, chin high reach far and touch the stars
    Last edited by TProphet; March 21st, 2006 at 05:37 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    this was a pretty nice piece

    imo true you completly outshined M16 in this one which i dont like becuze honestly his verse lessend the quality of the overall piece...so with that said

    true- your flow was flawless never once seemed forced and was a pretty easy read.. vocab was still good and it definitly kept my attention from start to finish.. i would have liked to see more emotion as well as imagery but still was a good write

    M16-i felt that your piece really wasnt that good imo... imagery really wasnt there and niether was emotion.. kinda seemed forced in areas. Your vocab was probably the only thing in the verse that was good

    this woulda been a very well writtin piece had not M16's verse degraded it imo. Just keep writing and working. good job true
    Monster's Ink

    2xOMHoF


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  4. #4
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    Thanks, he says it was rushed, but yeh...

  5. #5
    Tha Burnin Sensation 2hot2handle's Avatar
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    I liked this. Ya both did good but m16 stood out to me. Ya both need to have better structures but the lyrics was dope. You stayed on topic and used great imagery. This was a good drop and flowed well. Props to both of you.

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    "I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

    - Martin Luther King Jr.


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    View this from last year^

  6. #6
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    Thanks..

  7. #7
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    Up..

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    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Man M16s shit was TIGHT. both yall had good flow, but at times i think the sturcture went off but you kept your stuff together pretty much.

  9. #9
    Soule
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    That was pretty dope yo. I really like the flow. I really felt the emotion also. And when TP said..."The kids that will witness the pain and slain of today"
    It got more of my intention. Change the Structre and you both got it.

    Peace
    8-10

  10. #10
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    Okay.

  11. #11
    Paradoxymoron Nib Oswald's Avatar
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    These would have been great works on their own, but they kind of clashed structure-wise as your styles were noticeably different. Fine work from both, but didn't mesh smoothly. Some fine rhyming and imagery for your concept.

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  12. #12
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    Thanks Nib.. uppin over all the closed ish

  13. #13
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    wakey wakey

  14. #14
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    meh

  15. #15
    hazze
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    that was pretty good yo i like the flow but the rhymes were weird

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