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Thread: A Harsh History

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~MetaSin~'s Avatar
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    A Harsh History

    A Harsh History..........



    Memories of the past and broken hearts leading to a trial of tears
    the passion of life and the secrets,that have been held for years
    somewhat a regret for what has happened in the violent history
    mistreatings,beatings,the reasons remains an unsolved mystery
    life scars and soul mates,heart was just a large bruise,being abused
    anytime,the harrasment has never been excused,often when refused
    sudden relief of stress when escaped from these tragic events
    it was a living nightmare the haunted horror from past tense
    heart brake during the harsh history of burried incidents
    created from a sinner but still living to barely sentence it
    in the words not being able to describe except,a living hell
    the nice life and excitement...a fraud she wasn't living well
    giving birth every nine months father never seen the child
    a distance not knowing the feet and yards,between these miles
    Learning a different language like reading a whole grammar guide
    ....the life is just as bizzare as pistol fights against a samurai
    but things have changed,now living the life of a celeberty
    weightless cries in the past,but the tears raised heavily
    as good as it will ever be,blind innocents that she could never see
    The vindictive thoughts will not let the heart get me
    because a easy future,symbolizes a harsh history
    ...............
    Last edited by ~MetaSin~; March 23rd, 2006 at 10:11 AM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    hav'nt ya heard?
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    this is very deep and emotional...............................wow....... ............................

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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Seneka's Avatar
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    It's a good drop in my opinion, for the most part it seemed to come from your heart. The rhyming was okay, nothing to write home about. Vocabulary was good also, I'd keep going and practicing to improve your flow since that's what works for me. But overall it was a good and deep rap song.
    Got Personality?

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~MetaSin~'s Avatar
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    thanx for the feedback you guys............

  6. #6
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    this was an alright piece. topic wasnt bad and i think your concept was a lil basic but blah.. imagry was ok in this piece as well was the emotion which stood out a lil bit more in this then anything else...flow was pretty much on point throughout the entire piece and your vocabulary was pretty good as well..another kinda short piece here and i think if you take a lil more time and increase your writting the imagry and emotion will be better...this was overall an ok piece so keep writing
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  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~MetaSin~'s Avatar
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    uppin this here.............

  8. #8
    Banned ghostflow's Avatar
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    this piece was str8, but i liked the topic , and the wauy you stuk to it. the imagry was clear and understandable to me. the structure was okay, and it had sum deep thoughts in this piece also. i enjoyed the ryme skeme in also with the good vocab. this piece caught my eyes ... keep writing fams....

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~MetaSin~'s Avatar
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    word uppin.......................

  10. #10
    nice consistency, liked the flow and structure to it, vocab was cool too, decent piece.

    fav lines- somewhat a regret for what has happened in the violent history
    mistreatings,beatings,the reasons remains an unsolved mystery
    life scars and soul mates,heart was just a large bruise,being abused
    anytime,the harrasment has never been excused,often when refused
    sudden relief of stress when escaped from these tragic events
    it was a living nightmare the haunted horror from past tense
    heart brake during the harsh history of burried incidents
    created from a sinner but still living to barely sentence it
    in the words not being able to describe except,a living hell
    the nice life and excitement...a fraud she wasn't living well

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~MetaSin~'s Avatar
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    thanks man........uppin this please

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~MetaSin~'s Avatar
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    damn kinda fell back uppin......................

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