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Thread: True Friend

  1. #1
    Banned
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    True Friend

    Lemme ask you a question are u really a true friend?
    Will you be there to ride or die with me till the end?
    Will you be with me when I'm on my Deathbed prayin to god?
    Or will you just come visit me when I'm 6 feet under the sod?
    What if one day i just dissapeared would u ever ask about me?
    Or would you be too busy with everyone else and 4get about me fully?
    I mean if I didn't have money would we even chill?
    Behind my back do u call me fake knowing I'm 100% real?
    Would you give me your trust, friendship, and heart?
    Or will you fuck our friendship up and let it fall apart?
    If I called you right now and said I needed u, would u be by my side?
    Or would u make up an excuse or just say no and hide?
    Will u give 100% just like i do?
    Or will you only give 25 and save the rest for you?
    Would u die for me like I would die for u?
    Or would u watch them put the gun to my head and pull the trigger too?
    What if I turned into a nerd and thought history was exciting?
    Would you be like everyone else and act as if you dont like me?
    What if I didn't smoke or I didn't drink?
    I mean doesn't this shit make you think?
    Will your friends be there for u for life would they ride or die?
    When you needed their help would they be right by your side?
    For the ones that you KNOW won't be there for you till' the end;
    You need to let them go now cause their not a TRUE FRIEND


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...09#post4156709
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...30#post4156730
    Last edited by Reflexion; March 20th, 2006 at 06:00 PM

  2. #2
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Wow.. Uh, this was very nice, I loved it. It brought some contraversy to my mind though, honestly I wouldnt die for a friend, I would try to find another way around it besides death. Anyways. This was great, I liked that you thought of all the concepts like backstabing, drugs, bullshitting someone. Your a very talented writer. You didnt really need that great of vocabulary in this peice, though you could used metaphores, that makes it more interesting. You made every line a question, which seemed kind of repeditive. But overall, it was a nice peice, not good enough to be nominated for the HOF, but close. I think with a good topic, and some time, you will probably make the OMHOF. Nice drop.

    Please check my latest peices, they arent long.
    "Satan's Pain"
    "Age Doesn't Matter"

    Those can be your links.
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    Awards 150+ Wins FL Tournament Winner PC HOF FL Champion
    No offense but i didnt like this.

    This was really an OM its likes something people would post on myspace theres no real point to this..but flow was straight there wasnt good vocab at all..and there wasnt any need for imagery so overall ill give this piece about and 6/10 if youd add that it would be 8-9/10

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    sdfu... ^^^ lol
    i think this was pretty niice.. i enjoyed it.. it was kinda basic stil it had a good meanin behind it.. i was deffo feelin this.. but do go in 2 depth be more creative next time..
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  5. #5
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    idk....i am feeling the concept...and the imagery was good, but the flow was hurt by the lack of multis....i think this really could have been better. Keep workin at it...you'll pick it up. I just didnt see any real rhyming here....i guess it was just the fact that it was all one syllable rhymes...a very simple structure...anyways...not too bad overall keep doin. one.
    They say this kids got skills...you dont know what the half is....

    CHALLENGE...BATTLE...DESTROY....the circle of life continues.....


    my latest written work...flames guarenteed or your money back....


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  6. #6
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    this was a good piece very good topic....the topic seemed kinda simple but what u wrote made it much more creative and it was much more emotional....i dont think i would be able to die for a friend or anything but yeah still this verse was good....also i think u need to fix up your structure cuz sometimes it was real off but still i liked this and i hope u keep coming wit better verse and better verses..etc..keep this up and make sure u work on your structure so everything can flow better....o and also i thought u had some good vocab

  7. #7
    ..in chains? Naw!
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    Read the rules. Your feedback is awful. CLOSED.
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

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