User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: dreams

  1. #1
    terep
    Guest

    dreams

    still in progress at the moment, its quiet a mind bendin sorta drop, u need to see the other 3 verses to understand but i aint finished em yet, still needs a bit of tendin to, but here da 1st drop n e wayz. i think i leave u in suspense.



    i keep having these dreams that re-occur when i sleep
    what do they mean? i know, let me picture the scene
    im staring at a cross-road, in the distance a stream,
    and somewhere between theres a hut on a green
    i looked left and then right, then straight back ahead
    i walked to the hut, met a gal who then said
    ill give you 4 tarrot cards for forfillin your quest
    u'll know what to do cos its all in ya head
    she lay the cards down each producing a symbol
    a p.c, a brain, a train and a thimble
    keep them safe in your coat, thats all i can tell you
    well i can tell you 1 thing, it aint gone be simple
    and in a blink of an eye and a puff of grey smoke
    she dissapeared, laughin like she'd just heard a joke
    so off i then went after i put on ma cloak
    thats all i remember cos then i awoke........................



    to be continued

  2. #2
    terep
    Guest
    i swear there some next shit gwarnin on dis sit, 6 members and 30 odd guests, tings need to be changed, everyone shud be members to view forums, i seen bare stuff bitten off dis site. n e ways c'mon uppin for feed

  3. #3
    r!PpER
    Guest
    2 links needed man.. read the rules

  4. #4
    terep
    Guest
    dude, is that all u got to say? like i sed up there. some next shit, n some next people

  5. #5
    Saint Jerzey
    Guest
    man, this was weak, i wasnt really feelin it at all
    center ur piece it will make it look better thats 1
    2, make it longer, and pick a better topic
    3 leave 2 links
    Stay Up ~1~

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    missing
    Age
    38
    Posts
    768
    Battle Record
    3-5
    this was good not great but good
    it was short a lil to short
    flow was ok
    rhymed nice
    easy to read

    but it jus was off but u can get better

  7. #7
    terep
    Guest
    yeah still. i get wha you sayin, keep it in mind for next time. cheers

  8. #8
    It was half decent, it was a bit simple though. Post a continuation and make it a bit more complex and longer. It did flow good though and it fit together pretty good.

    Post more though

  9. #9
    ..in chains? Naw!
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    M24
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,685
    Battle Record
    5-2
    Awards SS Season Champion
    Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.


    I HAVE TO HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
    READ THE RULES.
    CLOSED.


    -Brix.
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

Similar Threads

  1. ~Dreams~
    By REDSKIN in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: December 7th, 2010, 01:20 PM
  2. In Dreams
    By HighEngineChief in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: November 17th, 2010, 03:23 PM
  3. Dreams
    By hollywoodcousy in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: March 9th, 2006, 03:14 PM
  4. shattered dreams (shattering dreams)
    By Lambragini in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: February 11th, 2006, 11:14 AM
  5. What Dreams
    By Travisty in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: March 30th, 2005, 01:07 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •