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Thread: Sometimes Death is Necessary.

  1. #1
    old york
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    Sometimes Death is Necessary.

    Sometimes Death is Necessary

    The Killer.

    Sweat drops to my face,while I point the laser of the gun i held.
    My mind out of place,whether the fact I shall bring this man hell.
    For my life is on line,and i tremble with the pressure of this man.
    Is this right?Or is it wrong?But my life in air,or my life about to land,
    Into a firey guilty conscience,where Satan will not hault to no mercy.
    My mind...This man haunts it,Hurt this man?Or let the other one hurt me?
    A mind of fury,and confusion."What have I done to deserve this pain?"
    The man who says I have commited sin,Says im about to gain my fame.
    I thought and think...Is this all i wanted in life,gold rings,and publicity.
    All wants and not needs,things i should've known would've ridiculed me.
    Now I still have the chance.Should I run,risk my life just for this other...
    Or should I kill him,and save me...I thought,and put my finger to the trigger.


    Real Killer?


    I snicker at this fool,does he not now atleast know the game.
    Pain comes once pain is given,yet he ponders to what choices to make.
    As he still makes decisions,Im here persuading him into stupidity.
    He has made sin,and shall find out the hard way to get rid of me.
    I tell him patiently,and slowly,you will die unless that bullet hits.
    He reply's vastly Im a man with no life,and being a piece of shit.
    I laugh at his remarks,and said "Don't you get it?Your the best..
    Because from the rest who have played,they have pain lying on their chest.
    I pity you at times,for you are in danger...danger of holding life...
    Holding it right in your hands,and you are oblivious to know what's right.
    This could be a winning fight,yet your mind can't comprehend the facts?
    Think,think,think...Is all you need at times,yet you always seemed to lack.
    I put you in your place,to realize that you are wrong,and here to make right."
    He answers back to my face "Killing a man?That's what you seem is right?"
    "He has commited sin as well,and you are both fighting for your lives.
    You both also are going to suffer hell,because time is what you strive.
    And as sweat,tears,and pain has gone through their minds and thoughts.
    The main target still fears,what he's waiting for,standing where he shall rot."


    The Killer.

    As I still peer into the to this man,am I about to kill with my own hands.
    His or mine will land,into the ground,and i have the choice because I can.
    I take a last look,and i again once put my finger towards the trigger again.
    Hands shook,I take a count down,to this man's death,one to ten....
    Ten,Nine,Eight,Seven,Six,Five,four,Three,Two,One.. All I hear is a silent click.
    The man I have now shot,lies on the floor to die,as i shiver quick.
    I hear people yelling and scared,and as I see the hood over his face reveals,
    My own loving father,I bared to look,that I am responsible,im the one who killed...



    Once down from the Building,I drop to my knees,the puddle of my own blood
    Remove more of the cover,and sit down over my father's black hood.
    I sit in astonishment,tears falling towards my chest I got up and walk.
    I see the man who had control over me,and comes up to me and talks...
    "You didn't win the game"...and as he takes off his cloak,my eyes open wide,
    An Nypd badge,with everything and his name,I stand weary and surprised.
    In this sick and twisted mind game,he pulls his gun up and cocks it...
    "Why...Please why?" He laughs,and in a a few seconds,all i hear is 'Click'.


    Sometimes...To find the truth and deceny in people many.
    Putting them in a position to find it out...Death is Necessary.


    SS verse.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...06#post4142706
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=279976
    Last edited by topher; March 18th, 2006 at 11:20 AM
    hurterrybody.

  2. #2
    old york
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    Up.
    hurterrybody.

  3. #3
    The Baws
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    yo man this was a very nice peice.
    You had tha plot down.
    Nice strucre and flow.
    work on vocab aiight?
    Thanks for makin something worth reading.
    Peace.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Seneka's Avatar
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    Yeah this is a good song, the flow is nice and the rhyming is alright. The storyline is consistant and stays on track which isn't easy. They say use better vocabulary but Mark Twain never did and he was known as a great author so it really isn't that important. Maybe we can collab one of these days or whatnot.
    Got Personality?

  5. #5
    Banned Antonio Banderas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Topical
    yo man this was a very nice peice.
    You had tha plot down.
    Nice strucre and flow.
    work on vocab aiight?
    Thanks for makin something worth reading.
    Peace.
    I agree, I really liked the creativity that you have incorporated in your drop. You did a good job with the deliverance of this drop and it seemed pretty original. This was a very deep and compassionate writing.

  6. #6
    old york
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    Up and thank you.Leave links,will return the favor.
    hurterrybody.

  7. #7
    Saint Jerzey
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    WoW my nigga, this was crazy,
    everything was good, only thing messing was maybe a chorus
    but it was REAL GOOD, hall of Fame Statuz my dude,
    u really kno how to use all ur words, u from queens right?
    i kno its hard livin in the Rotten Apple, im from the bronx
    We Getz no Break, so u using those big words in a good way is saying alot
    Hood Nigga's Can Be Great, if they gave us a Chance
    Real Good Job my nigga

  8. #8
    Saint Jerzey
    Guest
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280171

    ^return the Favor? thnx my nigga

  9. #9
    old york
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    hurterrybody.

  10. #10
    old york
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    God damn people.....
    hurterrybody.

  11. #11
    terep
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    this was a gd strong drop, the only thing i will say, is there was to many i, me, us etc, try to use different wordings for it, i know it is hard sometimez, but ther are places that it could be done, but on the whole a very nice drop blud. keep it up. 1

  12. #12
    terep
    Guest
    return the favour

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/member.php?u=49933

    peace blud. i b lookin out for more of your stuff

  13. #13
    Banned
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    I liked the layout of this peice....strucutre and flow were excellent, even and smooth
    nice complex rhyme scheme..imagery was good and it was helped by excellent vocab
    topic was interesting and pretty creative...this was a good read overall and it was enjoyable....keep it up man..peace

  14. #14
    TopP1aya
    Guest
    yo man really felt this.
    Strcutre anmd flow was great.
    Wordplay was masterfull.
    Didnt really feel tha plot but you got it down.
    9-10
    Keep it up homie.

  15. #15
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
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    yup the story is str8, i just think you need 2 mix up the rhyme scheme a little from the typical a-a b-b style, but overall itz good

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