changes

[tanna]

verse:1
Growin up, hard times had me struglin, never new any kind of trouble that i wasnt in, maybe it was the fact that my daddy wasnt there, or maybe just the fact that my momma didnt care, i had to grow up quick fast in a hurry, an i had to shead tears when i seen my grand mama gettin baried, every night jus cring in my sleep wishin i had a lil more to eat, an the only true friend i ever had was chief, an he was always there for me, through the battles in da streets, i was lost in the fall an couldn't see my way, so i got tierd of livin at home an caught my first case, first time in JDC i did 21 days, an i was back on the streets just showin niggaz fades, every day doin wat i wanted to,
fightin boys cause they wore blue, cause i claimed pyru, u fuck wit me u faught my crew, cause i was just a jit, but i'm grownup now an my shits lil jit, dont get me wrong cause i'll still split ya shit... if ya test me bitch, yein aint ready for this.

Hook:1 (x2)
This is my lyfe and i aint goin change it, dont even try cause u can't rearrange it, fuck wit me an ya lyfe's in danger, this is my lyfe, this is my lyfe.

[Shazz™]

2 Feedback Lines Needed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185583
Read Rules

[tanna]

dis all true it's from da heart an it's lil jit an real

[V.I.G]

decent flow with ok imagery. You definitley got your point across with the struggles of growing up. Hook was also good with the way it was summarizing your topic. My advice would be is to expand on the way you flow, it will help you realize shorter and better ways of making your piece doper to read.

[Resolute]

This actually isnt that bad. You have the flow there, you have the real life experiences and imagery there, but you fault when it comes to pressing the Enter key at the end of each line. Lol. That makes shit horrible for the reader to scan through, it hurts my eyes, but that said - stick at it. Im guessing this was intended for audio? It ecrtainly had more an audio flow to it than a text piece. Record it, throw it up on Soundclick, then post the link in here. I'll give it a listen.

[Breannah]

the flow is what would improve this you need to improve ya skills with flow to make this shit come out way better the way you wrote was shitty though didnt really think out a good structure to this and you sorta dropped this way too basic wasnt much emotion or feelin out of this to my opinion

[shazzzzzar]

this aint bad. your DEFINATELY elevating. flow was decent and so was the structure. you could improve the vocab, it was a lil too basic. but overally it was definately better than your previous drops. keep workin at it.

[rufus_dirty]

shit was nice not great but it was nice I felt the pain in it and i love hood pain no doubt keep it up

[GrimmyReaps]

2 links homie and work on your structure...the verse was Ok not that great...but read the rules damn...