My Vision

[<Supreme>]

Turn your mind off; now listen, this ain’t life, this is my vision
It may be a fucked up mission, but this is my fuckin ambition
I’m gonna make it in the game, buy jewels, show my fame
Diss you cos of your name, tell you that your raps are lame
And keep my pistol in the trunk, and then drive at you drunk
What’s that, you don’t think I’ll make it, I don’t give a fuck?
Well I do bitch, so stop, switch, and quit spittin your writ shit
Or I’ll kill you with lyrics that were written for yo fit bitch
That I took last night, when I talked, and showed my attitude
And you got up and left, walked, embarrassed like I flattered you
Then you waited out front, faggot, I left the club from the back
Then shot you up with crappy similes that I stole from your raps

[Hook]
Faggot I do this cos it’s my job
I don’t do this for fun, so fuck you
I’m gonna make it, this my job
I don’t do this for fun, so fuck you

You know I’m twelve lines closer to makin it now, so fuck you
If I see you in the streets, watch your back cos I’ll mug you
I see other emcees in the hood, spittin one bar rhymes, thinkin
You good, dickhead, I want some of whatever you drinkin
Cos you wack as fuck, you suck, you need a dick, leave your clique
Cos they hate you…this is the life that I chose, kickin with you
Sleepin with HipHop, I married the game, I’ll wear the chain
If it helps me make it, I don’t want people thinking the same
That I tried to fake it, cos homie I didn’t, I did it my way
I hustled as a kid so I could pay for my studio time
To diss you, cos no one can see you like an audio mime*
Faggot…

[Hook]
Faggot I do this cos it’s my job
I don’t do this for fun, so fuck you
I’m gonna make it, this my job
I don’t do this for fun, so fuck you




cos no one can see you like an audio mime - cant see any sounds, so cant see if they mimin

[<Supreme>]

Link 1:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...71#post3967171

Link 2:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...86#post3967186

k,,,let me kno wot u think, this isnt my usual style

[*Young Philly*]

ok, i was feelin this, good rhymes
But i felt like u took sum ryhmes from 50
The first Bar sounded like 50,
The wordplay was pretty good too
Only Problem i had wit this piece was Da Flow
Like Using words like Cos TO say Cuz, Its Dumb
Cuz people that dont kno what that means iz gunna get off track
To try to use words everybody will understand
Also i didnt Feel Alot Of imagery
Stay Up.

[<Supreme>]

first bar - vision/ambition - yh thts in Hustlers Ambition, but i changed the words in between
i use cos instead of cuz - i always have dun - it doesnt make any fuckin difference which 1 u use, ppl kno wot it means
if i had to use words evry1 cud understand, i'd use a dictionary for 6 year olds with the A is for Apple kinda shit

but anyway...thnx, uppin

[dotGod]

umm... not good

text should really be about something...
you cant do a total verse on bravado in text...

pick a real topic and write... you dont do too badly on rhyme scheme... you just arent saying anything...

yeah... work on it

[<Supreme>]

uppin for sum feed
leave links and i'll comment on ur drops!!!

[J.Christ]

Turn your mind off; now listen, this ain’t life, this is my vision
It may be a fucked up mission, but this is my fuckin ambition
I’m gonna make it in the game, buy jewels, show my fame
Diss you cos of your name, tell you that your raps are lame
And keep my pistol in the trunk, and then drive at you drunk
What’s that, you don’t think I’ll make it, I don’t give a fuck?
Well I do bitch, so stop, switch, and quit spittin your writ shit

this drop was simple as hell, very very simple you need to elevate at all angles on the real, structure, topic, wordplay, punches . i wasnt feel'n none of it . next drop might be hot