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Thread: Snow White feat. WestBank504 & Young Philly

  1. #16
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Aight reading this i gotta say that it twas a lil long, but the rhymes were good. However y'all should have spent more time in "gelling" the two toghether so that they sound more like one whole thing instead of sections or chunks from diff people. I liked the flow of y'all stuff and the stroyline was aight....Next time add more imagery to make it sound more appealing.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
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  2. #17
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    yo are yall can check the Om in my sig it don't matter

  3. #18
    Aka WestBank Leonidas's Avatar
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    Thanks for all tha Feed...Keep it coming
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  4. #19
    Redwood Ryan's Avatar
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    yuh thanks for tha feed yall...

    keep it up...

    Uppin more feed...

  5. #20
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pakaveli
    Aight reading this i gotta say that it twas a lil long, but the rhymes were good. However y'all should have spent more time in "gelling" the two toghether so that they sound more like one whole thing instead of sections or chunks from diff people. I liked the flow of y'all stuff and the stroyline was aight....Next time add more imagery to make it sound more appealing.

    Oh yeah.......can ya check this, thanks

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=273649
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  6. #21
    Aka WestBank Leonidas's Avatar
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    upppin For Sum More Feed....
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  7. #22
    Aka WestBank Leonidas's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the Feed Guys...More would be appreciated ...Thanks...~1~
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  8. #23
    Aka WestBank Leonidas's Avatar
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  9. #24
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    yo safe gud work off u 3 there dem rhymes wer smart an it was gud yeah young phillys verse da best tho lol str8 up anyway rhyme skeme ya verse was sick 2but closer your was just arite....safe anyway

  10. #25
    Aka WestBank Leonidas's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rippa
    2but closer your was just arite
    Closer isnt sumone...its tha Closing of all tha verses..tha end of tha O.M.
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  11. #26
    Redwood Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WestBank504
    Closer isnt sumone...its tha Closing of all tha verses..tha end of tha O.M.
    lol yea...

    uppin more feed...keep it comin...

  12. #27
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    c'mon now...anyone else got anything to say...?

    UPPIN more feed please...

    holl@

  13. #28
    Aka WestBank Leonidas's Avatar
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    up up up...Leave Feed PPL....Get @ us and drop feed...~1~



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  14. #29
    sfe... tha rhymes wer gud. i dun knw bout ny flaws cause im completely new. nywayzz gotta say nice wrk man.

  15. #30
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    Idk what to say about this piece. Im not really feelin the concept...I dont think hustlin is something to brag about....its what people do to put food on the table...the multis and flow could definitely use work...I dont think the hook was too bad....but overall this was not a very good written piece. I think it would sound good in audio however. The vocab needs improvement too. I thought Young Phillies verse started off sick then immediately fell off, which leads me to believe he was biting someone elses lyrics, but I could be wrong. I thought those first few lines in his verse were the best in the piece. No hard feelings just giving an honest opinion.

    3/10

    Please peep my open mic post and leave feedback. thanks. one.

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