thoughts of a stranger

[D. Jizzle.]

location.......
Downtown
Seattle Washington



a police
.
.
whats this kid got on is he a gansta or sumthin
dressed in red, kids in the 80's bangin fa nothin
this nigga kid looks ignorant, i dont understand
why the niggas put each other in coroner vans
corner of a square as a hang out, curious sight
my site, he fits a stereotype to the serial right
prolly sell drugs shoot or got shot fight misses
loves to smoke dank an fuckin on white bitches


A white girl
.
.
dam he's got that appeal, he's a thug on the real
he got glasses sweater khakis,a thug on the real
he looks like snoop dawg, got get em at all cost
he dresses like iverson, clothes got rip em all off
before i approach, let me check my book of slang
YO, its what up shawty u hot an ya doin ya thang
wanna make him think DOWN, an chick thats hood
walk up, say fa shizzle my nizzle bitch whats good

A black man
.
.
this bitch is trippin she aint even got black traces
shizzle my nizzle? she dont know that shits racist
this sight is sad, i wish my hood niggaz could see
this white chick wit cornrolls ecko an abercrombie
a walkin contradiction, steroetypes R her infliction
not racist her intintions, but is that her positions
does she want me for a trophy or the black myths
big hands a size 12, yea she want me to smash it


a black woman
.
.
that uncle tom sellout bojangle chicken george kid
just lookin for some pink pussy to hit an score with
its disgustin,how our black men R all taken by them
pick cute 1's, not the 1's that got wieght on them
whats wrong with a black girl, that butt is all right
just cause we aint easy, aint gonna suck it all night
cuse we argue got an attitude, an can come off rude
cause we aint gullible to have our pictures be nude

[D. Jizzle.]

link 1 http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post3993208

[D. Jizzle.]

link 2 http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...25#post3993225

now uppin for some feedback

[EyeCandy]

hmmm bloodz i don't like u...j/k but dam! this was good... flow was smooth thru out tha whole shiit.. loved it all.. ent much for u 2 improve on really.. its niice.. i like it!

[dopestspitaeva]

wow this is nice bloodz

what u been in the elevation chamber or something
phew hell yeah this was tite fosho
i din know u cud spit like this
concept went deep fosho

keep doing ya fizzle

up1

[D. Jizzle.]

uppin some more feedback

[McDangerous]

this was nice nothin really special you cud elevated your vocab and multis but your story telling was good .....7/10

[Soule]

hahah homie that shit was hilarious... i like how you made it comical and still had a good message behind it... and the funny part about that is it's true, you displayed PERFECTLY how people think of eachother and how people actually follow the stereotypes that society has made for a black male... good choice in title aswell, it fit the piece nicely... structure was flawless and the flow was good... vocab was okay, but there was no wordplay really, but i guess with this piece you cant really use much of it... the rhymes were okay... coula used a lil work on the multis a bit but other than that it was good..

well done man i liked it, it gave me a bit of a laugh... way 2 hold it down nigga...
return the favor bro... hit up the OM in my sig... i think u might like it...

~1~

[Gost Writer]

Good Shit that was on tha real tha whole way thru. this is tha first open Mic i enjoyes reading but it reminds me of 50 cent song...just tha concept.
it was hot

5 Popin' 6 Dropin'
__________________
"I roll a spliff n' a Joint,
Blood Star...Crips think we missen tha point/"

[The Iron Monk]

nigga I loved that sh!t I read it like four times and had all my kinfo7ks read it......although the only girl in herre was white and she got mad cause you explained her to the T.....keep that up pimpin the truth is Gangsta and ima show all my hommies with white girls this flow lol! good job.........Boss

[D. Jizzle.]

uppin some more feedback plz

[rufus_dirty]

I can't even say I had a favorite like but this was a CLASSIC I won't even lie it's the best one I done seen ya know I can picture it it's so well scripted man I just can't say enough I can't even say what you did good because you on another level and you should just keep doing whatever your doing and I will keep looking for you no doubt shits wonderfull

[Supremacy]

ight,
the flow in this piece was consistent, and so was the structure
the first 2 verses were the best in my opinion
the rhymin was gd to start with, but it started to get simple towards the end
the concept of this piece was gd - a stranger commentin on ppl he/she sees in the streets

gd drop,,,keep @ it

[P. Mortuus]

Shut this Shit! Close this Crap! Gunk this Garbage!

Lol........Muhahaaaaaaaaa

Nah only trippin' ma dog, yeah this ideas inspiration come from intellectual discussion area?

It was good, vocab was a lil basic but it's better then the previous stuff ya wrote, i like the flow, I found the last verse amusing, it reminded me of someone (babytori)
Ayo you gettin better at this, Soon we'll battle, wat say

Oh yeah check this aswell dog:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=273649

[D. Jizzle.]

uppin for some more feedback plz