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Thread: God's On Hold

  1. #1
    Banned
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    God's On Hold

    lights out! my son gave a slight growl he’d resist concern
    with quite doubt, a night owl who would twist and turn
    the gist to learn, patience is virtue a much needed trait
    bad relations will hurt you, not lead to a succeeded fate
    but heed debate, a heathen state has no place in this home
    God’s taken his throne, & my child may he make him his own
    Shakin’, fits prone.. Michael was known to start trouble
    Achin’ with moans, until he passed out from heart trouble
    Inside a large bubble, most of his time was spent hurtin
    Behind a bent curtain, quarantined while a vent spurtin
    Clean air, wasn’t meant certain, remedy for slowing cancer
    Or these growing plants were, ‘special’ cures even flowing chants sir
    Sure knowing answers, would be better than hocus pocus
    Or lotus, roses, look closely to see what the joke is, notice?
    True focus poses, questions at the closest sections sessions
    Reckon the oppression left him when God’s corrections blessed him
    They’d inspect n check him, but then he was later cleared
    We prayed & cheered, as I saw a man with the longest layered beard
    So gray appeared to be ancient at least, but dressed in a pressed suit
    Vest & the best boots, he sanctioned a feast we as guests couldn’t protest to
    The fun fest proved, quite a story the man had shown me tons
    As his deep tone begun to change to that of a lonely one
    For his only son, had died, it’s the soul reason why mine will live
    My mind will lift this name on high for his final gift
    I walked with this gent, got lost in his scent, came to know him well
    Aimed to show n tell, everyone how life was goin’ swell
    Not because I owed him hell he loved me, my family n friends
    He cared vastly, for aunt Claire, Cathy, brothers Stanley n Ken
    The manliest men, showed him respect and uncommon courtesies
    My son learned a lot from the mans psalms n words to me
    Months passed, such calm then burglary, was quickly caught in panic
    No lights were on, mike was gone but he had often vanished
    Gave it a thought then ran quick.. to the phone to call around
    Maybe he’d roamed & fallen down, or left home for the mall in town
    But then I realized, even when me and the man went our separate ways
    Michael left for days to spend with him and always kept in praise
    Of his depth, his phrase, amazed he stayed in such high hopes
    When I feared his spirits would fall like mine but mike copes
    Even though he’s sick again and witnessin his fast death is rugged
    For a single mother who would give her last breath to sub his
    All she has left beloved… a collection of doves split from her window seal
    And in those heels she darted to the phone for some info still
    None came, one ring after another.. each time I’d shake n groan
    As each moment slowly went then silence would break in tone
    No service, as I heard this I knew he was stolen from me
    And worried myself sick over him being cold n hungry
    I had watched half the sun set against the backdrop fast
    One last hot gasp as I looked past the black top cracked
    And that wrought fact, my boy was ill, diseases breakin his bones
    The truth all along was God almighty had taken him home
    I’d forsaken alone, Michael followed til the end then prayed for a beckon
    The lord’s number was never disconnected I just strayed for a second

  2. #2

  3. #3
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    Man...
    I'm...
    *Speechless*

    It's...It's just great, man, it's a masterpiece, or if not, it's close to be one.

    I gotta bounce so can't leave a better feed but will do tomorrow

    Shit, man.
    o_0

  4. #4
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    thanks

  5. #5
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    great again from you, so many quoteables will take all day to list them.. great all round piece. HoF standard. will nominate. Great Job.

  6. #6
    tricky trix
    Guest
    hot verse man u sick lol

  7. #7
    old york
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    Please get to the link,because i remember leaving feed on your oms sometimes,and most of the time you would never get to my links.

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=271711



    Ok....
    This was more of your just relaxed pieces.It's pretty good,but I've seen better.The usual multies here and there as sometimes i would see you do,and the vocab here was pretty good.The storyline wasnt as expected but it was kind of eh.Usually i find your stuff more interesting but this wasnt as mosrt of yours.I thought this piece though was very easy read,i liked the flow ands the choice of vocab.Over all i found it a very good read,just i thought it could be more interesting.
    hurterrybody.

  8. #8
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    alreddy did

  9. #9
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    upping. . . .

  10. #10
    EOS_GangGreenEnt
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    holla at me homes on aim, chopxprss
    peep these and get at me:
    http://www.ganggreenentertainment.com
    http://www.myspace.com/therealganggreen

  11. #11
    J.Christ
    Guest
    would be better than hocus pocus
    Or lotus
    uh huh, see you tried to flip off my shit .

  12. #12
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    lmfao..... why whoudl i flip ff your shit... and mine has a deeper meaning, yors is just some gay gangsta clubbanger shit

    upping

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Fresh101's Avatar
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    Propz
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php/its-alive-356519.html[/url]

  14. #14
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    now about that feed fagface....^

  15. #15
    Abraxas
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    Very well written open mic. One of the better ones i've seen around here in the pastcouple of weeks. Like to comment on the title, matches perfectly with you OM. Nice job.
    This was pretty good and long but well worth the read. Enjoyed it a lot. It's one of your better peices but i've seen better from you.
    The emotion that was put into it was pretty deep. Kind of like you told this story to people kind of like preaching it. The can fairly view the imagery in this peice but I can't quite grasp the concept. Not really as grasping as your others. but the complexity of this was pretty good. So overall nice dope peice you dropped the begginging amd end raelly got me there to ponder a little bit. So yeah Great peice.
    8.1/10 overall
    Just giving some good feedback.
    Please leave feedback on my open mics in the future. Greatly apprieciete it.
    Percept Shun

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