The Impossible

[Mistral]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=145122
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=144536



My dad was my hero...He chased the monsters from the dark...
Told me it was alright when I was scared, He drummed the charge...
He would protect me from the boogie monster under my bed...
Tell me it was ok as it boomed and cracked while thunder just spread...
And the first time I got cut he was there to stitch me up quickly...
He did it so swiftly..without an ounce of pain...then he would lift me...
With one arm..and pulled splinters from his hand, didnt even flinch...
Turn rusty bolts with a quick turn of his wrench like it was a synch...
He was a modern day iron man...Till the day that grandma had died...
I never thought I would see this man cry...tears poured out his eyes...
As I saw for the first time tears of pain flood his face and cheeks…
As I sat there not knowing what to do..to myself I started to speak…

Unbreakable Walls...Eventually Break...
The Unthinkable...Eventually Occurs...
Destroying everything that we were...
But The Impossible...Happens...

16th birthday I just got my new car, had to take it for a spin…
But the curve was too sharp, cutting life so short within…
I still remember hearing the tires screech across the pavement...
As the two cars collided head on, and I still can't shake it...
Laying there in a pile of scrap metal...as blood gushes out...
In my head the sound repeats of metal as it crushes down...
Finally the paramedics arrive and can just barely squeeze...
Me..out of the mess..as I pray to god..."spare me..Please"...
And now..paralyzed sitting in my wheel chair graduation day...
Never to walk again, they call my name out, no hesitation plays...
I slowly stand up and stumble as I walk across the stage...
Getting to the podium, as I read these words across the page...

Unbreakable Walls...Eventually Break...
The Unthinkable...Eventually Occurs...
Destroying everything that we were...
But The Impossible...Happens...
…
I’ve learned to never underestimate the impossible…
Cause that which we claim is, is just another obstacle…

[Endeva.]

well credz, im pleased to see you've veered from your usual 'love' drops... this was alot more interesting, i remember a few months ago, i did a similar sorta thing where a guy crashed a car ended up paralysed, but his mates died and he was wishing it was him... dunno if you remember... anyways... yeah i prefer this sorta thing to the mushy stuff you write.... props.... oh and thanx for the.... 'well done' earlier... lol

[Foreshadow]

Damn Credz this is some personal information. You did a nice job with it and describing your childhood if this is really how it was.

[Endeva.]

^^lmao.... i dont think it was written from his perspective... might be wrong, but i think it was fictional...

oh and credz just delete this if you want.... just it made me laugh, ive never heard you meantion anything like it before... i unno

[Wise Ways]

this was coo man, never read one of your pieces before so this was a good frist impression.. the first verse i thought was good, about average.. nothing really caught my attention but the 2nd verse i was really feeling .. just had more emotion in it .. like the last few lines especially .. good read man .. props ..peep my piece called a light switch .. thanks.

[Mistral]

Thanks for the feedback, Leave links and i will return feedback, Upping!

[Mistral]

Upping for some more. leave links and i will return feedback,

[Ace of Aces]

dope, i felt the emotion and the moral of it, although obvious, was one to remember. great verse man, excellent read.

peace

[Mistral]

Thanks for the feedback man, appreciate it, Upping.

[Keynote]

Credz my man this was so emotionaly deep....and really had me thinking bout life and what could go wrong with it. This was a breath of fresh air, coz most i have read are of love...or just dont hit a message as hard as you just have with this!

Ok to start off with your flow was impecable...near perfect infact....you didnt fall off track anywhere which made this piece even more of a pleasure. This also made it read easy and reall potray your massage! Structure was also spot on, which even further made it easy on the eyes. good job!

Your writers voice is the most important thing in an open mic..and your spoke to me on so many levels. you showed me just how valuble life is to a person, and just what can happen if you think the impossible cant happen. Started off with a heartfilled son-father story which i can say that everyone on here will be able to relate to..especially this line:-

With one arm..and pulled splinters from his hand, didnt even flinch...

^^shows what a powerful impact a father can have on a young son..the way you campare him to an iron man...is somthing all kid think their father is!!

Your emotion poured out, and really got me quite chocked up...as you hit somthing in me that only a sons love for his father can bring out...i could also see you standing getting your deploma....and it was a great way to bring in the corus...i applaud you on this very much!

Vocab was good also, didnt need to be over complicated due to the natue of the piece...and you really hit the nail on the head with your approch to the style.

Fav lines =

As I saw for the first time tears of pain flood his face and cheeks…
As I sat there not knowing what to do..to myself I started to speak

^^interlinked with the corus...dope!!

Overall this is one of the best pieces i've seen for about a year on here...no bull! just your emotion and image you put into my head spoke to me so much...this was a very enjoyable read, and i thank you for it!!

9.8/10

pz

If you could can you reply to my piece.....The breath of the devil...thanks credz!

[djb]

man you really got me wrapped up in this story. you know it is a good piece when you can visualize everything you read in your head. at the end when you were talking about graduation and getting up from your wheelchair i could really feel the impact and emotion. this was a deep piece kudos. if you could return the favor and reply to my piece dirty politics. thanks

[King Adi-Das!!!!]

good shit credz, but you definitely lost my ass i didn't see any reason for the first part, maybe if you explain it to me i'll catch on but i didn't see the need for it, any the shit was nice carried a good message, oh and i think i get the shit now, ya dad protecting you and shit, it was easy to believe nothing could have happen to you atleast i think that's the gist of it i will leave link man

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=147325

[Sir Skiddz SoPhrenic]

Dope shit. I felt that of your open mics I read, which are rarely read by me, this was one of the better ones since you dropped personal shit without keepin it on a personal level only you would understand. You gave enough info to keep us into the story and that is very admirable. Job well done kid.

[NumeroUno]

Wow. Took the song "The Impossible" by Joe Nichols and spun it a little. Good job

[Fo' Rilly]

Wow @ U^