The Stranger Part 1

[EyeBite]

The Stranger walked slowly down the street anonomusly......
he was carryin a fire arm but it didnt bother me..................
he turned turned into an alley, now i was curiously peekin.....
i walked toward it no to make it obvious, i was creepin.........
just about sneekin...He turned out of it and he hit me..........
I moved backwards and yelled back" whatch it G".................
The cops were lookin at me like i was a criminal...................
But to me i looked gangsta another way for original..............
The cops stepped out of the crusier fast and ran.................
they came toward me i got really nervous..damn!.................
they tackles me..then i knew i was goin to prison.................
I didnt know why they were after to me, i was just livin........
But they took out the same gun the man had......................
he snuck it into my pocket....why was i give in..no i felt mad.

The Stranger was the reason why i was here..which is stupid.
They strapped me with a vest with a metal plate inside......
I guess this was sum new policy aka sum new shit.............
I was in this fuckin dump..and i didnt even do shit!!!!!!!!!!!
I was livin hood, good like i should...doin sum cool shit.....
Caryin a wepon on a busy street is sum fuckin fool shit
and i aint one..the stranger set me up..thats the truth
if i eva see him again i'll flip and knock out his tooth...
I grab a bat and swing as hard as the famous babe ruthe
Sock his face in...pound his jaw leavin bystanders on awww
O god...i need to get the fuick out oif here..help me dog...

I was sleepin in my room on the top bunk to the right.......
it was night..only a dim light and shadows were in sight...
I saw the stranger peer into my cell and smiled real wide..
then i yelled...a guard came....then he ran to hide....
the guard said yor crazy man..go to sleep or else.....
its only the best for yourself and your health..........
I was angry and i have revenmge in mind...............
i wasnt gonna hold back all my anger this time.......

to be continued...

[EyeBite]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=263965
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245710

[tony900]

it kinda sounds more like a poem more than a rhyme but its still preety tight good effort

[EyeCandy]

yea i agree wit ya^^^ it does sound like a poem stil but it was good.. enjoyed readin it b... keep dat shiit kumin....

[tony900]

Already

[J.J]

i agree with them, this kind of did seem like a poem, but other than that this is pretty good...

FAV BARS
and i aint one..the stranger set me up..thats the truth
if i eva see him again i'll flip and knock out his tooth...
I grab a bat and swing as hard as the famous babe ruthe
AND
I was sleepin in my room on the top bunk to the right.......
it was night..only a dim light and shadows were in sight...

u had some good flow in certain parts but it got a lil messed up in other parts, the structure was good, and the vocab was decent..keep it up, overall i liked this piece

[EyeBite]

thanks everyone..uppin for more

[.:Tsunami:.]

i think that was tight..u had good vocab and it flowed real well
im looking forward to reading more stuff from u homie

9.5/10