Wise Words (Poisonous Poems)

[UnAuthorized]

Wise Words Written Words For Word, Chizzled in Stone...
Emotion is Shown, Through Vivid Pictured Poisonous Poems...
Poisonous Poems, Paint Perfect Pictured Portraits of Pain...
Use Words To Explain, and Use Verbs To Illustrate Vain...
Gott Nuthin To Gain.. Lett Alone Nuthin To Loose...
Nuhtin Prove, Can't Judge A Man `Til You've Walked in His Shoes...
Understood and Felt His Blues, Drunk All His Booze...
Felt Every Scar He Has, and Every Bruise...
The Loss of Maney is Much, But The Loss of Friends is Way More...
You Could Have All The Money in the World, But Still Be Poor...
Words Are Weapons, Proven Deadly Given Proper Use...
The Verbal Slaughter is Just As Bad As Any Form of Abuse...
So Listen To Wise Words, It's The Speech of A Saint...
Creatin Pictures Usin Scriptures.. Wise Words Are The Paint....

[UnAuthorized]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...64#post3594264

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235770

[UnAuthorized]

....Uppin For Feedback............................

[UnAuthorized]

.....................Could I Gett Some FeedBack Please?

[Noxious.]

i think it was good it flowed real good i think
i think that was okay i guess it wasnt bad and it wasnt great
7/10

[UnAuthorized]

.........Uppin....................................

[Apostle OS]

Let me be negative first. Your topic would be good if this is one of your first ones, it explains your state of mind well, but it's kinda vague and pointless. Not that it's bad but you pretty much takin a lot of themes and throwin them together. You could write a song about each one of your lines, try makin a better connection, or a better word would be make a "cleaner" connection.

Ok good stuff. Your flow was dope you can catch it real easy, and it can make a head rock. Your vocab had ultra high points but ultra low points, so try to be a lil more consistant. And you don't even gotta use big words. People like that shit on here but they don't realize that's for poetry, not this kinda rap, jus livin it up a lil wit more unique words. Your rhyme scheme was good. Your metaphores though sometimes common were good, you got good topic reference. Last thing would be to make it longer. I can tell you could rock a beat, so if you made it like 20-40 bars, not lines, it'd be a lot better. Keep the focus dog. -1-

[Split]

wow kid, you've got something... special i guess. You didn't say anything that no one else has ever said before, but you did speak wisdom. That I what I go for in my writings. I liked this, and I'd be interested to see more. Feel free to PM me when you drop something, I'll give better feedback next time

[- easz -]

could have flipped a few of the lines to make it hit harder or switched a few words to hit a nice multi..
nice flow, in my opinion, unique and deep, you would be a big hit over here, deep rhymes over garage is getting bigger

[Johnny 6-feet]

Closed, 16 lines minimum.