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Thread: Heartbreak's Sharp Blade

  1. #1
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    Heartbreak's Sharp Blade

    Pure player, antics, I knew would catch up for sure later.
    Baby girl, colorfully shaped my world, now blurred grayer.
    My sure savior, kept me distant from relapsing thoughts.
    Lacked time, I could help you manage in graphing clocks.
    Don't let the facts be lost, any problems, I'll help answer.
    Place you in back of my mind, but thoughts wont transfer.
    My glands hurt, broke up, was choked up, I couldn't speak.
    With you, no longer needed liquor to be swept off my feet.
    Mind went bleak, I said nothing to try and keep the flame.
    Dummy's fall in love, then why 'wood' my soul feel pain?
    Taken still I claim, the new girls, never took past friends.
    Love's course set, at your doorstep, the foot tracks end.
    Look back when we first started, seemed to have it all.
    Reminiscing of us striping in private games of Basketball.
    Wont kick back the call, were you at? I have a grim guess.
    Heart gashed quick, like British car crashes, lost my princess
    How I been since, stressed, shaky voice and tears that flow.
    Suffer a dark fate, heart break's sharp blade, spears the soul

    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=262842
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=262768

  2. #2
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    Bump..

  3. #3
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    Uppin...

  4. #4
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    Feedback Helps....

  5. #5
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    I like the way you worded things, the structure, and concept.. but one thing I noticed recently about the OM section is that most OMs are depressing and repetative. Your OM demonstrated something that we can all relate to a break up.. and I like this OM.
    It would be good to see more from you.
    QueenStyle

  6. #6
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    i liked this piece also good wordplay
    nice structure...i can relate to the
    subject so topic i enjoyed reading this piece
    keep doing your thang..................

    Man Kats be sleep on my shit
    holla at my Collab Too MUch PRessure
    with lady dip harlem

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