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Thread: jabbering about something important enough to be ignored

  1. #1
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    jabbering about something important enough to be ignored

    I strike a match (burn) the theoretic rhetoric,
    Contradicting facts with philosophical genetics,
    My standpoint on life is most people lie down for death,
    By dreaming but not trying so in turn asphyxiate from holding they breath.
    I have to confess, my world is sketched by images, display it
    In a thousand words that paint a picture for priceless mosaics.
    For those who appreciate my art, get fed they mental hunger,
    And learn to peace together a Picasso into The Last Supper.
    Now if I rest my eyes the tattoo of better days, replays,
    Then relays in ways to simple for man to convey.
    Why is it mans curse to complicate laymen’s?
    Why is it we think we can amend stigmatic wounds with amen’s?
    We hold so much to faith and when wishes don’t come true disappoint,
    Our righteous play is fake if it took a crucifixion to make a point.
    Society’s “Alice in wonderland” phony fictions outlook, Is a mirage
    Of sabotage for people who don’t believe site but die over a book.
    See I can promise myself heaven and end up in hell.
    I can place the blame on everyone except myself.
    And I still work like a slave to eat like a king
    But rarely can afford to feast so my Pham on reflects on everything.
    I put my loyalty in an alcoholic coke addict. Makes since don’t it?
    Since majority of my decisions seam like I never had a sober moment.
    You want money but don’t work,
    want peace but settle for a peace and flirt,
    Want the perfect woman and cheat,
    want the answers but can’t ask the questions,
    So you fallow misdirection capeesh?
    It’s staggering how you’re controlled by speech,
    Basically jumping off a bridge with your friends,
    strangling yourself with the leash.
    I can’t cure most of the earth’s problems but if I were selective
    I could gather the revolving and place them into perspective.
    Life’s the way we make it, but simple lives are led by simple-minded
    If we can’t see opportunity and take it, then we are simply blinded.
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  2. #2
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  3. #3
    Banned SIX6's Avatar
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    fams i feel you
    WoRD^
    i liked the topic, you had a great flow going. nice use of words fam"good vocab". Concept was real clear. very understandable. your structure was str8, fix that up. but other then that your piece was truth. keep it up fams........9/10

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    yeah this is pretty nice fosho.. i was fellin the flow on this piece.. and the topic was for real.. thats what i'm saying.. you had some interesting poetic phrases.. and showed some good artistic qualities... lots of dope quotables throughout.. so yeah a mos def entertaining piece... structure could be more but fuck it from you knowm how to spit it ..its sa'll good... would be good on audio fosho

    up
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  5. #5
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    thanks both vortex man id like to see you play off the topic please i think you could do damage on this
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Certified Hustla's Avatar
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    dis waz really good i liked dis rite from da opena it waz coo

    Now if I rest my eyes the tattoo of better days, replays,
    Then relays in ways to simple for man to convey.
    Why is it mans curse to complicate laymen’s?
    Why is it we think we can amend stigmatic wounds with amen’s?
    We hold so much to faith and when wishes don’t come true disappoint,
    Our righteous play is fake if it took a crucifixion to make a point.
    Society’s “Alice in wonderland” phony fictions outlook, Is a mirage
    Of sabotage for people who don’t believe site but die over a book.
    See I can promise myself heaven and end up in hell.
    I can place the blame on everyone except myself.


    bezt part rite dea good shit

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AGHZBAKWERDZ
    thanks both vortex man id like to see you play off the topic please i think you could do damage on this


    yeah fosho.. i see if i can check it out some more.. and if i feel some vibes later .. i mite hav somthing 2moro

    1
    .................................................. ......................

  8. #8
    lyrical messiah
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    yo nice peice just somethin i would expect from you nice topic an good flow an as always great vocab just keep at it dawg

  9. #9
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vortex
    yeah fosho.. i see if i can check it out some more.. and if i feel some vibes later .. i mite hav somthing 2moro

    1
    WORD I KNOW YOU WILL KILL THIS
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! O'rigi's Avatar
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    eh whodi when I saw the title i didn't know what to expect, but that was dope.It has a lot of imagery from my eyes looking at it. sounds like you feel strong about that subject. keep posting whodi 9/10
    I'm too fresh to be stale

  11. #11
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    Upping
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  12. #12
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    upping
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  13. #13
    ...practice makes poetry
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    i thought you started off pretty strong... and then ended up really letting the flow fall off... lines were overall longish... i like what you said for the most part... but the key is saying it in as little words as possible... otherwise you lose your audience in all the confusion... perhaps that's what you wanted, not sure about that

    focus on the internal rhyme structure from a tech standpoint, you can tighten up the flow there for sure 'mirage of sabotage' was a good example of something to build on

    remember to think one step ahead of the wordplay and don't look for rhymes, look for lines and find the rhymes some other time... got it?

    pz
    Hence Forward

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