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Thread: Wasted Talent.

  1. #16
    The League's Bill Parcell
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    Hmm... nice to see you somewhat active.

    Unbelievable seriously though.
    So in the mean while, it seems i'll just compile pieces
    that aren't Forever Ill & will forever be decent
    amazing
    Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
    or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence.
    by same game i've meticuously aimed at & missed.
    I trained to spit, but never got passed save & print.
    The only one to blame is Rich. Im short changing my wish..
    by staying the same old way.. i know.. its lame & bitch.
    Its a shame I dont switch.. to different mind frame & twist..
    my fate so it exists on the same plane as say.. a Jay & Kiss.
    sorta sad though man. It seems like the final chapter of a book
    and with your writing skills there is no reason you shouldn't be
    an extemely dope audio. I mean flow wise and rhyme scheme
    you could be great. But you know how life is... everything takes
    time and money. And when you grow up, as we did, lol... you start
    needing more of time and money as they begin to flee. Let me know
    what's up with the audio.



    Text (b.2001 - d.2006)
    LLL Season Four: Champion
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    Member of A.I.







  2. #17
    El Pistolero Keyser's Avatar
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    This was real nice, i thought your flow was really good and the use of multies also really helped, i love your rhyme scheme though, at times just simple but still effective and then more complex but still so true.

    Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
    or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence
    ^that was really good.

    You had some good imagery aswell and although i thought this might be played like ones before you really did a good job and its great reading. But on a whole this is a good good piece, i've seen better imagery and emotion in OM but never the less, yours was still good throughout, your a great writer with awesome flow dude, do something about it.

    Keep up the good work.
    Last edited by Keyser; December 26th, 2005 at 05:20 PM

  3. #18
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Awards Legendary Member LLL Champion OM HOF Golden Glove Champion
    Thanks MM.. I feel you. Time & Money is exactly right.

  4. #19
    Banned Nostradomus.'s Avatar
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    Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
    or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence.
    Some kept me closer to dropping shit as i chose not to quit.
    Others exposed sloppyness in my prose to stop me a bit.
    Got me to just.. not to copy shit & find my own style.
    So in the mean while, it seems i'll just compile pieces
    that aren't Forever Ill & will forever be decent
    See, even recently i've written poorly more frequently
    and have yet to stream my voice on any known frequency.

    Fucking Evolve man, I read this shit so fast, I had to read it once more. It sounded like you wanted to get back at someone, or maybe you just wanted to shake off the rust. Who knows?, but all I know, is that this peice came out dope as fuck. I enjoyed the vocab you added in here, some were a little forced, but most were well put. Keep 'shaking off the rust' Ev lol, nice job. Feel free to hit the links in my sig man, pz.

  5. #20
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Thanks Nos.... much appreciated fam.

  6. #21
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Dont want this to slip into the abyss of meaningless shit

  7. #22
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Holla!!

  8. #23
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Nice. piece


    I like your use of multies and vocab..
    Kina consistent through out wich is good.
    Nice subject matter and you attack it very well.
    Nice emotions anger little bit I sensed.


    "Through..
    out my time on the net i've gotten & given respect.
    But i've come to accept that my position is less..
    than those who let all of thier ambitions progress.
    Consequently, i guess.. my admission is this...
    I'm on a road to nowhere.. YES.. ignorance is bliss.
    Still, im vigorously pissed fame is igg'n me. Dissed..
    by same game i've meticuously aimed at & missed."


    Nice lines...emotional wise and stuff.
    Nice flow those were your strongest lines.

    Overall good stuff stay writing.

    Only critique is try and use your vocab
    wording in better position so it stays
    rhetorically smooooth. feel me ?

  9. #24
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Thanks man.. Much appreciated

  10. #25
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Uppin...

  11. #26
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Uppinnnnn

  12. #27
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Dumppppppppppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

  13. #28
    Planet of the Rapes. Evolve's Avatar
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    Awards Legendary Member LLL Champion OM HOF Golden Glove Champion
    Uppppppppppppiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiinnnnnnn nnnniiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn

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