first timer rap

[Nick X]

Im new so i need some help wit rap so judge this rap and give me tips to improve please

my lyrics start from the top of my dome
like you when you rap peole tell you to go home
son why you protest words that i say
your not a rapper you just get in the way
you try to stay hot when you rap battle
you cry to much let me get you ur rattle
im so straight ill when i spit
you raps are to short matches the size of your dick
so before you make your comeback relize what ur doing
ur on the stage frozen now the crowd booing
so next time think before u take this challenge
you have no skill so next time step up to me wit some talent

[D. Jizzle.]

i think thats good if ya lookin 4 a crew come to hostile minds i take rookies with skill

[puredopeness]

u need more work but atleast u tryed.......juss practice ur rythm schems more there 2 basic lik battle and rattle ==== no

juss nedd practice

[Bounce]

Im new so i need some help wit rap so judge this rap and give me tips to improve please

my lyrics start from the top of my dome
like you when you rap peole tell you to go home
son why you protest words that i say
your not a rapper you just get in the way
you try to stay hot when you rap battle
you cry to much let me get you ur rattle
im so straight ill when i spit
you raps are to short matches the size of your dick
so before you make your comeback relize what ur doing
ur on the stage frozen now the crowd booing
so next time think before u take this challenge
you have no skill so next time step up to me wit some talent

Tight linguistics flipped w/words ripped off the dome
Unlike the foul scripts ya spit N rush the crowd home
Dude please, why question the image I portray
Hip Hop you're not so stay the fuck out my way
Ignite flame thru a mic? only in a welders battle
Just salty tears of a clown, trade ya mic 4 a rattle
Kid I'm terminal with spits
ur raps short like life with unprotected dicks
Best analyze ya lines N realize what ya doing
cuz the whack U bring leave everyone booing
Might wanna use some thought next time ya step 2a challange
skills on a downward slope for ya, hope santa 2steps ya some talent




Ok, since you asked and I'm all for helping kids elevate and up hold the art and culture I love, I'll give you some baby steps... First, look at the lines you just put up and think long and hard about what you could say in place of the lines you have now. You want to give the same general mesaage, but doing so with better word choice and overall content. Now I won't get all lyrically intense on you, but I will show you want minor things you could do to improve each and every drop. You want to search you head for doper ways to say things. You dont want to sound like a damn kids reading book. You want to display your lines as art. If you do not respect the art, you will drop half ass every time. Respect it and spend a little time on your drops. If that means you need to do some homework, do it.

Ok in baby steps your lines can be changed to the ones keyed up above very easily. Now don't think that is where I am skill wise, it's just the very first level of elevation from your level. This is what you should have/could have wrote instead and it would have been just that much better. Nothing doper or amazing just better than what you posted. I mean, had you took two minutes to redo those lines this is what you could have done at a minimum.


Next you will work on getting away from the aa bb ryhmes scheme
Long way from dope, but it's a start to your improvement...

[b_rEEz]

alrite.......^^ he summed it up...but elevate...your learnin kid...keep droppin, you'll be dope.....i'll peep ya next one to see what its like..get a creative topic tho..and write bout it...

5/10

stay up kid

[The 3rd Wish]

uh yea this could use some, work i mean im new to this shit too but i can see where this needs help, just in the overall flow it needs to line up better, and maybe but more complexity in your rhymes like similes and shit, peace.