Out of the Shade

[Matty G.]

Now i've rolled wit the winners//
brought blizzards so every day a winter//
danced wit the devil call me a sinner//
want a lyrical gauntlet test me//
magical matt manages murders wit mace n' machettes//
makin' madd money//
most mornons manifest my magisty//
middlemen that mumble to marine marshells//
get marched on by martial art marvels//
i got muscle muzzles for you maggots//
no make-belief maelstroms for the metal mouth mechanics//
i score multiple times wit moss in maddenn//
makin u look mongol like marvin the marshan//
sending mayhem through microphones, mashburn through march maddness//
which one of you wanan bust//
wit the a plus kid//
im nasty a madd libs, slaughterin every letter in the alphabet//
nouns, verbs, n' adjectives//
im shitten' em out like laxitives//
i drink so much when i flow the mic wood blow postive//
now try to push me, you clowns nuttin but lesbians eatin madd pussy//
i beat it til it get mushy//
leave these chickens, gimpin' in pain//
but they always come back lookin for "mo-train"//
...in the membrane, im killin' em//
wit more synanoms than eminems//
call me skittles, every time i flow//
you can taste the rainbow//
like tyson it's time to retire, overdue expired//
i cash in "banks" when im "on-fire"//
you hit rock bottom//
see im the real problem mannn//
i can take out your hole clan//
wit my bare hands, until you can't stand like luteniant dan


yo im new to this shit tell me if my posts are alright or i gotta fix em, give me sum imput too

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/newt...=newthread&f=5
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/newt...=newthread&f=5

[Matty G.]

yo leave me comments please i need sum help with my structure and my rhyme scheme

[Future]

i dont like the scheme of it man, not to good, i didnt have n e imagry in my head or no feeling for the OM, sorry, just not feelin it..

[Apostle OS]

you got good word play, so your flow isn't the problem. Your vocabulary isn't bad. It's your tone, you're ramblin. Pick a steady topic and embellish it. Tell a story. Don't jus glorify shit that don't got notin to do wit notin. People need a connection in lines to keep them interested. For real your flow is hot, but you jus get some passion in your words. keep on, 1.

[Matty G.]

word yo this shit was just sum shit i wrote in a bored day just trying to see what i could do thanks tho keep uppin'