The Melting Pot

[The Vortex]

links-
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=255010
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=254738






A Vortex® production…edited Dec 2005 ©

The Melting Pot.
.
The skyline distorts to charcoal, stars vanishing, and the atmosphere stifling
Meddling winds send victims tumbling; rumbling thunderclaps launch lightning
Volts & bolts, the results are appalling, as disruption engulfs all past logic
Religious cults’ revolt in hopes a saviour will enter, hail arise the last prophet
Shards of the sphere splintering, scattered like traumatized glass objects
Green trees turn to powder, acidic showers sizzling chemical vapours
Buildings cave in the commotion; oceans evaporate, earth craves ital waters
The soil dries, dies, Soul of the universe bidding its final goodbyes
Birds plummet from skies, lions deprived of pride drenched in animal cries
The stench is despicable, nauseating nostrils of anticipated victims
Bloodied heads & limbs, frenzied beings fleeing like decapitated chickens
Metal melts merged in fever; civilization now diminished to a mere iota
Here comes Hell in helter-skelter; military bunkers offer no sure shelter
Rocks crumble, diamonds aren’t forever; first was Alpha now face Omega
The final terror tortures, dishevels as burnt flesh & bone’ shrivel to fragments
Artificial gods/devils descend to gloom, consumed by their evil- enactments
The moon cracks as the surface erupts, spiting out orange molten-rocks
Deadly meteors maim humanity scarring earth’s face like chickenpox
The big-bang theory reversed, weary the orb stops circling on its axis
Near void, voiceless shadows dancing to the sounds of blackness

A solitary whisper raises a ricochet from beneath the fallen debris.
.
To be continued

[The Vortex]

not even a single feed

thats fucked

























fucked

[1up]

nice shit fam...

I liked the world ending kinda theme you had going.

flow was nice, and structure was fine except for the random one line at the beginning of the red section, and the random ending line.

If anything, I just wish you had put the whole thing instead of 'to be continued'

also I think you missed a v in vital.

on point mayne...keep it up.

one.

[The Vortex]

thanks blud.. i actually meant for "ital" to be there..its a word rastafarians use to describe something holy or from Jah..not that im a rasta..

i can prolly restucture those random lines u spotted..lol good spottin that u noticed i just kind of flung them in..the end line was more like meant to be a starter line for the continuing verse..i think ill just seperate it for now with a space

good lookin out

[The Vortex]

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fuck

[The Vortex]

my last up of the day

thanks for all the hundreds of replies people.. really appreciate it....
.................................................. ........Not

[E><ZiLe]

nice piece hommey.... everything was on point....... i felt the ending it went with the last to lines before it.......
as 1up said......in the red section, it was straight but you left out or forgot to replace a line you took out to rhyme with omega, or you just skipped that part......

other than that dope work, keep it up

check out my OM called

Agonizing Tremors

[The Vortex]

safe blud..yea ill look for your joint in a min


uppers

[The Vortex]

cough


























.

[The Vortex]

uppin mo

^^^^
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^^^^

[The Vortex]

any more feed wud be appreciated..b4 i write the next verse

up

[The Vortex]

yea good looks out fosho
yea meaning was as you gussed.. but at the same time the begining also being the end of something or vice versa.. which hopefully i'll fuse together in the next verse

thanx 4 lookin in yo