i am alone-noone see's me,
the only thing i hear is my own breath,
its what i smell. I cant be free, i'm a slave in my own world- paranoia daily,
i feel hurt-low self esteem,
I don't know whats wrong,
i dream in a world filled with darkness and hate,
my own world,
somethings wrong-- what is it?
!I should feel better!
Last edited by Xplicit; April 4th, 2003 at 05:49 PM
hey im new to this poetry shit, give me yo honest oppinions and tell me what i need to work on
what the fuck is this nigga talkin bout
wack nigga "im relaxing" hell naw
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that was aiight..its simple but it would be better if u be more decriptive and try to use some more vocabs and it would also help if ya rhyme some of it....well in poetry u aint have to rhyme all the time but in majorities they do...keep onit...
aight thanks man for ya honesty
i really understood it man it was coo...keep droppin 'em
Lyric-you have no sense of poetry...stop tryin to bash on someones flow-do that elsewhere--aint no one talkin 'ish about you and your flow
X yo shyt was coo..jus elevate mo and go into mo description-your last line came abruptly and could have gone into deeper perspection..ya know
fashow dawg
...Life is a battlefield-use your words not swords...-SC
huh, why is this nigga lyc talking, but for the people who gave me posotive feedback aight thanks alot yall, i appreciate yall's honesty
Umm just keep tryin u already let it be known that u were knew which already knocs you down a bit people are gonna expect "less" but next time when you come come with some emotion, power, statements something that'll catch somebody's attention.....just keep doin whatcha do
*~Holler~*
aight coo thanks man
hey X dont listen to that ghetto fool lyric he lacks tastefulness in so many catagories. As for your written i enjoyed i think you have an idea of what makes good poetry keep working with it and some really nice work will come from it.
-1-
softfocus
while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage
How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
That nigga lyc'dic' don't know what he is saying...where is some new ish--i know your all into that battleboard ish but in order to improve yo poetry flow spit it once in a while...holla--i am gonna write a new one asap
X-aka FREEPOSTIN NIGGA FROM THE BELLOZ
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