TwixSin V.s Vortex...Topical...

[The Vortex]

:noor:
30-lines max
due 2moro daytime latest

topic...Skateboard...

House rules
No crew-votes
No hate votes
No 1 line votes


check

[TwixSin]

ohhhh goodie goodie gum drops...

hah...

in.

peace.

[TwixSin]

[FONT=Tahoma]
The Skate
When you live in a broken home… it can seem like your alone
The star shone as bright as day… my sister there, even if I roam
The last straw pulled… puddles filled with splashing rubber boots
The loot of happiness weighed nothing because it was natural soot
But the labor I pay for seems to leave more sawdust then trust
And I must be left in darkness at times for fear of myself I touched
And when the light switch does not do much…
And an, allen key is the only door handle
A vandal in your home can seem like more than a random battle

I knew I could skate faster than he could run with my moms purse
Idols on the television and in school to stand up for moral truths
It hurt to know I had to stop this guy… otherwise who would care the police?
Hah they had coke heads to chase… and stab victims to drive, not a petty thief
I would take this matter into my own hands… the man of the house
Didn’t have a choice to move… always grew up in the south
… the timing seemed all wrong…
suddenly a gun in hand, life flashed forlong

“now I stand in the middle of the street holding, trying to fix my own entrails
belly cut open with a six inch blade ending all my personal hopes and trails
… I wouldn’t fail… but sometimes all you need is for someone else to set sail
there wings of life heading in the wrong direction… and evil prevails
I guess my own cousin didn’trecongnize, or know we moved and forgot about the skate
Call it Fate…
Cause that dark night had he not given it too me money…
would have been the only thing at stake.“[/FONT]

[TwixSin]

dammit... i cant fix it... just read it as is.....

[Deception.]

Booooh, vortex is off line. I wanted to read both.

[The Vortex]

nice verse twix.. ill prolly lose this real quicly coz of all the hate..but here goes











Skateboard
.
.
.
It was a dark drizzly Thursday morning, coldness bit my ears as I strolled
Waiting for my workload, the order to activate my mercenary mode
Ginger Jenny called me to the office, said she had a mission conscript by CIA
I listened to the fat chicks advice, & told her my price would be 60K
She pulled a black briefcase from beneath the table, then passed me a PPK
Now she shows me the picture of a man dubbed “The skateboard killer”
Big gorilla looking fucker, this week he kidnapped 3 kids down by the river
Next to the skating park, at least 1 child has already been torn apart
Another 2 kids held hostage, possibly in an apartment near South Boulevard
Yesterday they’d caught him on C.C.T.V, still pinpointing him was hard
Thought in my minds eye: “where would I go? Maybe a basement to lie low
Don’t want to die so before hitting the street strap the Kevlar with Velcro
.
I’d use my 6th-sense for guidance, asking questions facing walls of silence
I’m skating on thin ice, I must crack this case, I comb the environment
Checked out the downtown subways for any sign of finding the children
Suddenly stumbled over evidence, wet wheel marks leading below the station
Took out my torch & pistol, saw a door to my left halfway forth the tunnel
A sign said NO ENTRY! Turning the handle, I entered from a cautious angle
Purple corridors led me to the right past water pipes and rats scratching
I dimmed the flashlight, & prepared myself for a little automatic gat action
More wheel marks lead to a staircase, the stairs took me further underground
Sounds of a child crying guided me, now I knew this gorilla had been found
Creeping stealthily, the stairway led me straight ahead to the boiler-room
2 kids in a corner, as I scoped the offender my PPK slightly recoiled & BOOM!
The bastard fell from 1 shell; I could tell he was going straight to the tomb
.
The children bruised & beaten, but least they still breathing, praise the Lord
I saw a wooden object on the floor;
Then realised I’d been following in the tracks of a skateboard

[The Vortex]

no votes @ all???













































































up 1

[The Vortex]

uhm?

cough

spew spluter

up 2

[TwixSin]

sleeppppppppppppp is in my eye

[TwixSin]

front lines is whack.

[TwixSin]

rise.

[asmodeus]

Yo this was great from both sides here.
I am having real trouble deciding who won but here goes....

Twin-Six ya shit was deep and I felt it hard. On topic and immaculate flow.....
I felt however, that a few lines were forced and that could effect my vote.
Otherwise.... It was great.

Vortex, I had ta read ya shit 2-3 times over just to get it.... REAL DEEP SHIT.... Nice twist at the end... Like that shit. Stayed on topic and no lines were forced.....

Overall v/ Vortex

Hit up the battles in my sig fairly

[asmodeus]

Damn cant poll...........................................

[The Vortex]

oh well never mind..thanks for ur input neways...


lol


uppin this


sometime this year would be good peoples..


up

[The Vortex]

come on folks gi this a couple votes

i'm running outta ups already and theres not 1 poll yet


bump