Everyone's right, this was a good topic. I've never seen this topic done before but I do think you could have done a much better job of writing on it. For starters almost EVERY line in this thing said "the house" or "the mansion" in the line. That got WAY too annoying I almost couldn't finish reading it just b/c how much that was said. Simply b/c of that it took away from the whole piece b/c instead of saying that you could have detailed the house more with action or descriptive lines instead of the same thing. We knew you were talking about the house/mansion in each line b/c that's the title. No need to say it a lot. I'm gonna do a piece on this topic. This looks like it'd be fun to write on... ya care?
pz
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