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Thread: Flirting With Death

  1. November 9th, 2005, 06:59 PM #1
    Demise Of All
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    Flirting With Death

    (Verse 1)
    in the gentlemans club sippin a bottle of bub...
    ask for a lapdance from dis broad fine as a dove...
    she walk over fill my cup started movin her butt...
    she look tense so i grabbed her hips to lossin her up...
    all i do is stare in her eyes can't talk my lips are stuck...
    look in da sky and say lord i'm blessed with this luck...
    how she moves she can hypnotize mindz swingin her waist...
    believe me girl i sure wouldn't mind puttin a lil wyte on ur face...
    come on girl get in my whip and lets dip u can stay at my crib...
    and i can be your baby and use your big juicy lips as my own bib...

    (Verse 2)
    we layin in the bedroom gettin set up in the mood...
    i tell her i need this girl cause her sex is like my food...
    turn on da radio uh oh marvin gay get her wet in da pants...
    and now she wanna get up and she is all ready to dance...
    we holdin hands movin to the rhythm steppin side to side...
    i say to myself this is the girl dats goin to be down to ride...
    cause when it came to riden she ain't shy she always ready...
    this girl is the one for me this relationship will be steady...
    i'm now positive this girl will be my angel and i'll be her hero...
    she asked me how many have i loved like her and i say zero...

    (Verse 3)
    the nights gettin late and we conclude our fabolous night...
    take her to the room and have intimate sex cause it feels right...
    we finish our little intercourse and my ass is ready to go to sleep...
    but all of a sudden out of nowhere i feel this sharp pain in my feet...
    pull the covers over this bitch don't stabbed me in both of my feet...
    and she yell out of nowhere i can't believe that you would cheat...
    i say what are you talkin bout u know its you that i wanna keep...
    she responds yea right you mothafuckin decieving ass lil creep...
    i know you creep wit da chick livin a few miles down the street...
    this bitch grabs da knife i look in da drawer and grab da heat...
    BOOM i shot her dead i'm breathing heart all tired and out of breath...
    damn i can't believe it who would've thougt that i was flirten wit death...

    links:
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...d=1#post3395155
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...168#post3395168
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  2. November 9th, 2005, 07:04 PM #2
    Motivated
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    this was a real nice drop...I think it's ur best...good imagery,flow,could have used some more multis, and better vocab but thats about it...this was hot..keep up the good work..lookin for more from u
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  3. November 9th, 2005, 07:07 PM #3
    Demise Of All
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    thanx homie
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  4. November 9th, 2005, 07:09 PM #4
    EyeBite
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    I think this topic is very different very creative and a plus for an interesting topic as well....good rhymes to top this drop off with sum good rhymin skillz..nicely done..vocab was aiight..imagery was here i felt it all the way..good drop homie...keep it up...peace
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  5. November 9th, 2005, 07:16 PM #5
    Demise Of All
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    thanx homie can always count on u for feed
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  6. November 9th, 2005, 07:38 PM #6
    Demise Of All
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  7. November 10th, 2005, 10:44 AM #7
    Alphabetized
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    Well, the topic itsself was alright, although, i found it a lil dumb that a chick
    would stab u in the feet for no reason. Vocab could have been elevated
    Cause i know you can come up with better. Flow was smooth as usual.
    Structure was fine, creativity was good here...... but.......
    This ain't your best, cause ive seen better... hit up "The End Of It All"
    my OM in my sig. Leave feed... peace...
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  8. November 10th, 2005, 07:49 PM #8
    Demise Of All
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    [QUOTE=Alphabetized]i found it a lil dumb that a chick
    would stab u in the feet for no reason    .

    i don't know couldn't think of shit it prob would have made since if i would have put more detail into it
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  9. November 10th, 2005, 09:51 PM #9
    Alphabetized
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    ya word dude, sounded like a filler, like i said... uve done better...
    check out mine and leave feed hommey, thanks
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  10. November 10th, 2005, 11:15 PM #10
    Spekz
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    ----igh i thought ur first 2 verses were kinda forced, you had some ok lines..but i thought the way you came about it was choppy.......like u seemd 2 go back and forth with thoughts.......i dont kno i think more time/effort would have made this smoother...you came basic in most parts..i suggest adding a lil vocab/wordplay to spice'n things up!....its not bad juss could use some fine tuning!

    ---ur 3rd verse i thought was ur best----i liked ur closing bar it was nice..i thought this verse flowd a little bit better, and had a lil more flow 2 it!...overall not a bad drop...i suggest putting a lil more thought and effort into the whole piece next time ya dig..not a bad drop..keep upz playa!!

    peze

    ****o and go hit up my OM Unwelcomed Guest****
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  11. November 10th, 2005, 11:18 PM #11
    Spekz
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    Ahh shit my bad....

    THE LINK IS IN MY SIG its called Unwelcomed Intruder!

    thank you!
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  12. November 11th, 2005, 02:51 PM #12
    Demise Of All
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    zoom zoom zoom
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  13. November 12th, 2005, 09:00 PM #13
    Demise Of All
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  14. November 12th, 2005, 09:09 PM #14
    -Sick Mentality-
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    Interesting topic...
    Some ok vocab some forced lines
    I seen some multis not many..
    Good creativity ..
    Didnt see any wordplay
    Flow was aight but could've been better
    ^6.5/10

    keep it up ..
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