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Thread: Crew Rap

  1. #1

    Crew Rap

    This about one Fag at are school
    Feed Please this be my 3 Written Rap:

    Verse 1
    P-H-S
    Yo welcome to a Deadly Hotzone aka ghetto//
    Slip one word wrong and youll be burried with Metal//
    PGB Prays here,gangster's have turned this place into a rental//
    We once had a English teacher name Long,Smoked a Bong and went Mental//

    Hook
    Yo,We From Da Ghetto OF P-h-s,P-G-B nigga better den da rest//
    Slip one word wrong and youll be layin in a Chest//

    Verse 2,
    Yo one boi from down south,came on ma turf and started runnin his mouth//
    P-G-B got to work Quickly,stompted him,lashed him,smashed him leave him in a bad state
    Of Health//
    God Dam Pussy Gave check to a chick,He got knocked more then the South ShelveZ//
    Member of tha crew then stod up,Hit him in tha Gut made him Hurl-z//

    Hook
    Yo,We From Da Ghetto OF P-h-s,P-G-B nigga better den da rest//
    Slip one word wrong and youll be layin in a Chest//

    Verse 3
    Keepin it Real, Be da Moto, Who knows After this i may win da loto/lato//
    Gettin adive From Tha True G, Soon gonna be hard gettin away from a photo//
    Theres a inspiration in everyones life, Mines 2pac but he got shoto//
    Gotta be carefull bout what ya rap, because we be liven in a Getto/ghetto//

    Hook
    Yo,We From Da Ghetto OF P-h-s,P-G-B nigga better den da rest//
    Slip one word wrong and youll be layin in a Chest//

    Verse 4
    "One Chance to hit this shit"or end up at tha bottom of tha Pit//
    Rappin like a Pro with tha Help of ma Crew,Bouncin From Clit-Ta-clit//
    Ma Homie G gangsta Can beatbox, we be rippin shit up Bit-ba-Bit
    We always Gonna be frontpage Shit,All the other Bitches can leave the candle Light//
    But theres always some who gets in your way, A gay Mofo who cant stand up to this height//
    Sittin in tha Front Row of class "WHat A Geek"Sits back cause he knows he cant stand the Meight//
    Got "Mauled By tha P-G-B"and knoked off by stage Frieght//
    Chased all the way to tha phs bus by tha black knight//
    Coon swinged and left right/ed//

    Hook
    Yo,We From Da Ghetto OF P-h-s,P-G-B nigga better den da rest//
    Slip one word wrong and youll be layin in a Chest//

    Closer
    This be a warning from Da PGb,Dude u better not fuck with me//
    Cause there always one 'i' on tha sea-See//
    CLose ya mouth and tha better ull be//

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  2. #2
    K-Loc K-Loc's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    I was feelin the topic of ya flow but ya structure n' wordplay needs to be elevated man keep workin on that shit, I see a lot of potential ~1
    Open battles:
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    ...

  3. #3
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Age
    32
    Posts
    4
    I think you should work on the multies and worplay. Vocab is always a decent thing to include in any pice you write. For a diss I wasnt really feeling a lot of it but I think that if you had more punches it would be better .Shortened bars and a better structure would help out.

    My Fav. Bar / Bars
    PGB Prays here,gangster's have turned this place into a rental//
    We once had a English teacher name Long,Smoked a Bong and went Mental//

    Keepin it Real, Be da Moto, Who knows After this i may win da loto/lato//
    Gettin adive From Tha True G, Soon gonna be hard gettin away from a photo//

    Included some what of a multi wich helped the flow out a bit...

    My Least Liked Bar / Bars

    Yo,We From Da Ghetto OF P-h-s,P-G-B nigga better den da rest//
    Slip one word wrong and youll be layin in a Chest//

    It got a little boring and if you added a bar or two more to the hook it would improve

  4. #4
    Banned The Do Boy's Avatar
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    10-13
    weak and whack, elavate on creativity, and everything else on this one cause it sucked nuts....

  5. #5
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Closed. One drop per 24 hours only.

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