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Thread: Dear Summer

  1. #1
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    Dear Summer

    (Feel me on this one)


    Dear Summer, I appreciated the laughs
    Tears came to my eyes when I think of the past,
    Its like All for One, And One For All
    We were a Team, As if we playin BasketbAll
    you were my Queen, and Then I broke Down ya wAlls
    MisLeadin and Mistreatin, Was Apart of The Cause
    Me and You Summer, I give us Around of Applause
    Late Night Dates, We ate at the Cheesecake
    Our Connection was great, with No Mistake
    I was very infatuated with your style
    A goddam beautiful body, plus a Shinning Smile,
    We became Girlfriend Boyfriend, went Hand in Hand
    Had plenty girls hatin, Becuz Im ya man
    Now We holdin Hands, stickin Feet in Sand
    I wanted to please you anyway that I can,
    Things became different, when I paid you a visit
    I figured you was cheatin, and I never Exisited
    So made some phone calls Booty calls if you will,
    Had great nights Most ended with Thrills,
    Kept my own secrets, different type of girls
    chose any to freak wit,
    We Broke up for Weeks,
    Weeks Turned into months
    The last time we chilled, we was rollin up Blunts
    From this point on, it went downhill
    The Feelins that I had I could No Longer Feel,
    OVerall SUmmer,
    You were A very Good Girl
    You had me wrapped up and Confuse like a swirl,
    They say you neverr know what you got till its gone, I thought i had it
    But i guess i was wrong, So long
    See ya lata baby, I thought this was the one but it ended up crazy,
    Goodbye, Seeya lata summer
    If I never See you, just keep the same Number...

    DEar Summer

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=243457

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=243943

    I got alot of stuff to had to it, but tell me what you think so far?
    Last edited by I_Me; October 28th, 2005 at 01:48 AM Reason: didnt put all of my lyrics in there

  2. #2
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    Give Me some FEEDBACK PLEASE

  3. #3
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Awards LLL HOF PS Champion/IE Champion Legendary OM Legendary Member SS Season Champion SS HW Champion OM HOF FL Champion 200+ Wins Haiku Season Champion
    This was a pretty decent piece....vocabulary was nothing real special but it it had a little bit of emotion to it...you forced a lot of stuff in there...But you somehow still stayed on the topic. It was a pretty good and easy read. Basic Structure. No multis really...metaphors: none...The creativity level wasn't that good either...because anyone could've written this piece. It's just a really basic rhyme scheme and could use some better points...Good job otherwise..Good for a first OM...

    ~NaSh

  4. #4
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    thanks, im just trying to get better i appreciate it

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