My Medication Is Missing

[warchild]

Im a psycho i'll leave Saddam Husain Burning In His Cage
Bitches say my dicks so big i got John Holmes Turning In His Grave
Im picturing rape scenes when i start to puff on These Blunts
Me and rhymes are a deadly combination like Sonny Bono and Tree Trunks
I got a fan base so i really have to Shoot My Stalkers
I got a big mouth so i get into more Star Wars than Luke Sky Walker
Hahaha did you figure out that Punchline Yet?
It's Crunch Time Yes your dealing with a Punchline Vet
Your body will hit the floor quicker than that dude from Drowing Pool
I was dropped on my head at birth thats why im Frowning Fool
My style is sicker than my dick when its penetrating Dead Cunt
My style is sicker than Courtney Love shooting up when she was Pregnant
Yo im insane so being a Rebel Aint New To Me
I hold more rage than the Devil In Puberty
Jenna Jameson turned me down so i Maybe After That Whore
Me be sensitive more chance of Vanilla Ice on a Shady Aftermath Tour

I'll scream stop the violence then wave my Gun Around After
Battle me bastard i'll literally leave you an Underground Rapper
You have to respect this headcase cause of my Mean Flow
If you dont shit will get more ugly than Bobby Valentino
Im a working class zero so my entire Block's Gritty
Other mcs rhymes are about as good as the aim of the guy who Shot Fifty
I'll watch a snuff film and just sit there Dead Still
Then laugh as if i saw Fat Joe on a Tread Mill
Fuck the content everyone of my Rhymes Are Politics
Dont be jealous cause i get more pussy than Gyneacologists
I travelled to L.A i murdered Brad Pitt
Angelina Jolie spread her legs and begged me to Stab It
How could i turn her down i fucking Love Her Frame
But when she came she screamed out her Brothers Name
Nah im playing im really in jail now you know how Robbery Goes
Im gonna resurect Chris Farley And John Belushi create a Comedy Show
I got your favourite rappers asking 'can you write a Verse For Me?'
I was like no thats insanity like Jacko running a Nursery

[Cinna]

dude that wuz SO INCREDIBLY SICK MAYNE

[Atti]

Eeeh, I Didnt Like It Man.

Just Personally Wasnt My Style At All.
I Cant Stand The Whole 'Rep Track' Thing
... I'd Much Rather Read A Storyline Piece Or Something Deep.
Punches And Disses Are Better Saved For Battles And Disses.

But, My Personal Shit Aside...
This Piece Was Pretty Nice.
Full Of Some Nice Punches And Wordplay.

This Though:

'combination like Sonny Bono and Tree Trunks'

Lol Clearly Its Not The Same Line Eminem Used,
But It Reminds Me To Much Of It Because Ive Only Heard Him Use It.
So It Just Kind Of Bothered Me.

But Aside From That Everything Was Pretty Much On Point Man.

Only Suggestions May Be...

*Scratches Head*

Maybe, Shorten The Lines For Better Flow
... And Slap A Chorus On There.

*Shrugs*

Pretty Nice Overall Man,
Again, Just Not Really My Style But I Can Still Reconize The Talent.

[Illus']

Ok good points, The Topic went well with this
piece definitely lmao...

Critiques-
Ok your structure is a bit stretched so you should
fix that. Try to make it even and neat. Structure
isn't that important however neatness counts;
it shows a reader somewhat that you care for
your own piece. That's my opinion.

Anyways ok vocabulary strong in some parts others
was par. Your punches were ok, nothing great but
they related. Sporadic piece here, which is cool,
kina my style in away.

Keep elevating and dropping.

[warchild]

Appreciate the feed i just wrote the verses in 15 minutes just a bunch of different punches and sick shit mixed together. Yeah that Sonny Bono line was influenced by Em, he spat 'I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono' i just loved that line but i just put my own twist on it, mine was pretty weakl but like i said this was kind of a freestyle piece just sporadic thoughts and punches. Im not really in the mood to sit down and concentrate thats when i come up with my better shit but this will have to do until i work on some new shit. Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241030
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241039

[master theisis]

dog..i loved it...i liked the fact that even tho u spit a slef-glorified piece...it still came out original...

...got a little long for me but wordplay, structure, flow...everything was on target

this is my favorite part from the drop

Yo im insane so being a Rebel Aint New To Me
I hold more rage than the Devil In Puberty
Jenna Jameson turned me down so i Maybe After That Whore
Me be sensitive more chance of Vanilla Ice on a Shady Aftermath Tour

[Nique.]

This was cool, but you write a lot of pieces like this..they're all punchline type topicals..write a topical where you're actually telling a story..the rhyming was good..no real content because this wasn't a content based piece nah mean..just spread your horizons and write about something other than punchlines..this was a good read though..and you used a lot of celebrity punches, but these type of topicals from you are getting real repetitive..cool shit

[~ladie_streetz~]

i was feeling your flow, the title was hot though i liked that and you seemed to talk about hell of shot through out. when i saw the title i was thinking maybe this would be about a epidemc that effects the world and aint no cure but it was still hot, the rhymes nad vocab was tight

[MISTA GRIM]

this was tight i would say errything that everybody else said. hott.

[Spoken]

pretty original, really no topic but i liked your use of words and some complexity in this, good drop homie...

[The Vortex]

this had its good points.. i liked some of the sick punches and wordplays....flow was a bit inconsistant....and some of the multies were a bit meh...but also had a few decent ones...
i mos def got some jokes out of this still and ....
rhyme scheme could be made a bit more complex or assorted...had some good vocab in use...

i'd say take some of this to frontlines where you can distress someone with those punches



hit this OM a few lines
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240231


1

[phait]

"Hahaha did you figure out that Punchline Yet?
It's Crunch Time Yes your dealing with a Punchline Vet"

"Yo im insane so being a Rebel Aint New To Me
I hold more rage than the Devil In Puberty"

"I'll watch a snuff film and just sit there Dead Still
Then laugh as if i saw Fat Joe on a Tread Mill"


lmao u def had da giggle factor here buddy... loved dis peice a bit of juelz mixed wit nas and EM....loved da complexity and the multis was fukn briliant... i actually wanted to continue readn this... love da title as well dis was juss all around dope homie..vocab was appropriant and erything... two thumbs up homie.. no complaints... we should collab sumtime.....

[EyeBite]

this was very good, flow and strcuutre neds sum work but the rhymes were exellent and the topic was interesting and creative, i enjioyed it through out, complextiy and vocab was here and i'm impressed, keep it up and can youy return the feed on my om fet/ lyric striker, thanks and peace

[warchild]

Appreciate the feed, uppin this.

[Legacy01]

This was a dope drop for me, the lines were pretty well put together, just flow i was concerned about... it did go smooth but some lines were a lil stretched, punches was really nice and lmao@ the brother screaming line, u sick fuk! lol, neways, structure might need sum workin on..but ya always makin ya talent known and this was another example of ya elevation, nice drop homie