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Thread: inner thoughts

  1. #1

    inner thoughts

    yo/

    what i realize, is the real die but still why?/
    i feel like the last of hip hop cuz this shits got no real guys/
    no one left in the business, matter of fact no one left with the sickness/
    i witnessed, the growth and death but i'm here so hold ya breath/
    everyone else fold ya deck, cuz i'm so sick of hearin "i'm shown no respect"/
    yall want classic material but wont purchase/
    it hurts us and now new rules have surfaced/
    you gotta be able to make great hooks/
    sample a few oldies and make a video with bitches with great looks/
    there are exceptions but within seconds its about weapons/
    just know that ya blessings will allso teach you lessons/
    i know you lookin at this like what do i know?/
    but when i flow, its all about how long can i go/
    only, i'm not bitchin' listen around for my writtens/
    its forbidden though, cuz it make most seem pussy like kittens/
    only, dont take this open mic as a view of my battle verse/
    i break backs and take tracks over just know, that'll hurt/
    i spit and curse, shift my works and tell you to fix ya purse/
    i got the gift that eats and burps, drop you off and tell ya fam they can keep the hearse/

    okay okay....peace

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Klingberg
    Age
    33
    Posts
    961
    Battle Record
    9-11
    need to leave 2 links on something you left feedback on

  3. #3
    . Illus''s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Age
    47
    Posts
    8,361
    Battle Record
    8-7
    Lmao when I saw this because I am about
    to drop an Open Mic with the topic "Thoughts"
    But ama change it lol...


    anyways...

    stop using those lines////
    I like your rhyme scheme and I felt your emotion.
    You do have potential, and you brought a message
    across for sure.

    A different style and nice steady smooth flow.
    But some of your lines were really basic and
    boring. Learn how to stay consistant. Use metaphor.
    Write with a passion cause I felt you got . And I got
    a sense you rushed this drop.
    Not because it was below par to me but because
    you seemed to be doing good then you fell off...


    Stay consistent.

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