I got game

[1up]

I've slumped some suckas - and even infared tuckas
quick with the steel, so you can die fast, mothafucka
Tryin' to front on me, you must be puffin' on swishas
split phillies 'til I die, you come outta pocket for bitches
my game is so vicious - nah I don't take names
but see me in the club, and I might snatch your dame
cuz you so lame - and me I'm so, so hot
I got game on the mic, and tuck a real hot glock
and a real big cock - I'm so sick with this
I got all the bitches fiendin', tryin' ta kiss on this
I know y'all missin' this - but it's aaalllllll good
pretty soon - I might come through y'aaalllll hood
yea I got that good - shorty, what you need?
you can chill in the cut, if you can twist that green
I might look mean - but girl I'm so so nice
so please holla at me if you can go all night
I'll treat you right - but best be gone in the A-M
and if you got notes, don't be thinkin' that I'mma pay 'em
I've slayed 'em - with rhymes, and on the block
you suckas must be trippin', thinkin' you can get me got
my flows so hot - I'm down to go harder for mines
you know, I make that paper off them nickels and dimes
or even squeezin' on nines - I gotta get up outta here
but if you keep on yappin', let me make this very clear
I tote guns son - I'll send hot ones
I don't even give a fuck if you got funds, dun
I might get ya on the block, motha-fuck the cops
any way you go against me, ya gonna get yo ass dropped




I don't konw how I feel about the first couple lines....don't fit like i'd like 'em to. Also the last 5 or so lines were tacked on, because I was feeling it as I typed it over. Kind of wanted to keep going, but shit seemed to be dragging, and w/e


let me know if you're feelin' this shit, and I'll return feedback if you drop a link


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=238396
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=239518

one.

[1up]

7 views, no votes, no feed, no anything?

c'mon now....

[SkullBreaker]

yo i wasnt feelin it, its a topic that is common, people dont need to know how gangster u r in a damn computer, talk about something that will have people guessin amake sure its interesting, if u continue comin to this site u will develop ok but keep it up ull get there man aight

[cLOUD9]

"I've slumped some suckas - and even infared tuckas
quick with the steel, so you can die fast, mothafucka
Tryin' to front on me, you must be puffin' on swishas
split phillies 'til I die, you come outta pocket for bitches"

^^ these four line sup to flowed good...everything else below that i wasnt feeling. U coulda worded it right...not only the end ryhme words should sound nice to fit the ryhme, the words in between are important to. For example:

"my game is so vicious - nah I don't take names"
nice line,,,u could make this stand out more with a multi like..
i hold weight in the streets while ya just ( FAKE DAMES) << thats a multi it sounds hot an fits the flow lovely..

what u did:

"my game is so vicious - nah I don't take names
but see me in the club, and I might snatch your dame"
take an your are two possites it throws the flow off track..

buty this was a coo drop tho keep spitting just blessing ya

now managemnet can get off me about leaving small feed DAYUM!

[1up]

thanks for the feed peeps.

yeah, every other line (with the beginning and end being the exception), the first half of the line (before the -) is really just an extension of the previous one, if that makes sense. I wish I could explain it better, there's probably a name for it, but ionno. I was puttin' some shit down in the studio a couple years ago, but I....well let's just say i got caught up the last few years.

Anyway though, been fuckin' around with a boy a mine a bit lately, so I think i'mma try to jump back in a bit, we'll see what happens tho.

anyway tho, yeah, basically it was just off the top, normally I just try to spit on a atrac or something, or at least on my comp, but it was early, and I wasn't tryin' to wake up my roommates n' shit.

anyway tho, good looks on the feedback, hopefully more ppl will keep it comin'

o yea, and i can't hardly smoke right now, i'm on paper and shit, so hopefully when i get up off this shit i can start droppin' some real shit again.

one.

[E s c]

You need a proper title and you dont poll OM's.

[P. Mortuus]

Why not, if the dog wanna poll let him poll, i reckon u can do better than this, dog. keep it comin'

[1up]

Why not, if the dog wanna poll let him poll, i reckon u can do better than this, dog. keep it comin'

word. I'll blaze something up tomorrow.

Also, yea, I looked in the rules, nothing about poll's, and so I said shit, poll it up.

as for a title...shit, this is really just off the top, so I had to title it something....I'm not just trying to claim hard on my shit or something, that's just what I called it.

[skoke]

it was aight

[1up]

anyone else?

bump.

[*Jazzmine*]

it wuz aight, your flo and struc needs to be elevated okay so improve on that shit nahmean and anotha thing, thiz thru me off a lil but it wa sdecent nothin to big but it was itght for ya 1st om jus elevate on better vocab and flo

[top-eye-cal]

didnt like ur structure
but it had ite flow

almost feelin it

[1up]

good looks again. I wrote a lil' something quick earlier that I'll drop tomorrow.

holla