The weight of pain.-Rabe ft Rezen

[Rezen]

Rezen

So crisp, fallen humus rustled..and cracked.
no body slacked, he had the world on his back
infact, a spidery beast symetrically matched
4 legs in motion, & yet the torso not black
a tree carved out, simply veneered to a finish
but any effect, harden's the lack of memories deminished
the wishes, the systematic buisness, of this beings trot
this beast, at least.. was intended for shock
a monstrous creation, the simple blankness of face
& yet its legs move on, each supports the base
some strain, some shed tears for the pain..
some put on a brave face, knowing they'l never see it again
but amongst these legs, one caries more burden than most.
its name John, aged 19, and now his fathers a ghost

so listen to this story, I wont infest you with lies..
John had the world on his shoulders, & didnt gesture a smile
And what im saying is true, truthfully fuck how ya'l act
Cuz
all the sympathy,simply wont bring my world back

Rabe

The weight of pain is like hundred boulders
Like it's imposible to take it off hunched shoulders
Stuck in the back of your mind like growing older
always imagining becoming bitter,growing colder
An when your sad,is when the mild seems mattered
an it hurt's worse than watching a child's dreams shattered
and the only thing that connects,is the spoken part
so it tears at you enternally like a broken heart
Imagine having nothing to gain never being able to stand tall
the weight of pain on your shoulders but no one to break your fall
Nothing will ever be 'normal' even if you work hard
as well as nothing will reflect,With my weak guard
Living this life is like your fighting but your heart can't win
but you can't keep your shit together because your shattered within
Emotion is on the instead...outside you just have to you act
ironic how
All the love in the world, n' I cant take any back

1
2

[EYE RONIC]

Nice job guys. Dope imagery and imagination. the concepts were well thought out and both structures were amazing.

Rabe- 9.5/10
Rezen- 9.6/10

Dope shit

[Haywood Jewblomi]

Nice work from both of you here. Good to see you're improving steadily Rabe. Nicely written. Both of you had some very nice imagery, especially with Rezens spider references. A few of your lines didn't seem to flow Rabe, but that could just be that the fact I've had very sleep is making me incapable of proper conscious thought. Hmm.... Who knows. Anyways, nice drop from both really. Keep up the good work!

[demolish]

Very Dope Collaboration.
U Guys Work Well Together Ya'll got A raw Style Nice Word Play Nice Vocab Great rhymin Structure Da Best Originalty I've Seen Yet

Nice Lines Man Ya'll Was Deep And Dats As Poetic A Poet Can Get

Nice Rhyme Scheme It Pretty Complex And It Flowed In Most Of The Song

The Chorus Was A Little Weird It Threw Off The Imagery A Little

But Overall Its A 9.5/10

Very Tight Keep Droppin' Real

Peep My Open mic It Called "Self Genocide" And Leave Honest Feed Back

[Rezen]

^for a start there was no chorus..

but we wrote this in the form that it could be recorded.

thanks for the feed.

[Rezen]

up.

[Pharoah.]

that was some nice shit.......

sry i didnt finish my verse in tim rezen lol

imagery, topic, flow was all nice

stay up guys and peep Im With You

[Par-War]

thia shit was real sope, after readin Rez first I thought it would be followed weakly, but then Rabe comes out and drops a completley different style and its dope...hard to see both come hard in a collab, but yall did it beautifuly. Big ups on this ta both u dudes u both got skills in a lotta ways.
Return feed in the links in my sig please
One

[Rezen]

thanks..

its cool pharoe..

well collab soon.

[.Silence.]

this piece right here was good.Yall had a good topic which also had a good storyline.Also you had good hard emotion and really good Imagry.Also I really liked the wordplay and the structures too.Overall this piece get a 9/10 cuz thats how dope it is.Kepp up the good work and keep on writing.I hope to see more stuff from yall cuz this was a dope collab right here.

[E s c]

Word...Up.

[Pharoah.]

thanks..

its cool pharoe..

well collab soon.

good lol

[E s c]

Me 2....up.

[Johnny 6-feet]

A decent piece, i liked the idea behind it and both of you stayed on topic. I prefered the imagery in Rezen's verse although you both came with decent introspective lines, decent vocab and the occasional multi in Rabe's verse. Solid work from both of you. The overall effect of the collab was a decent blending of styles.

Keep posting, keep elavating.

[E s c]

Thanks up.