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Thread: Dear Summer

  1. October 5th, 2005, 01:47 PM #1
    Nahlidge
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    Dear Summer

    Dear Summer, I know we ain`t talked in a while
    It`s like I been puttin` you off, and it`s gotten me down
    To the point where, I can`t even spark up a smile
    Of a grown man, still got the heart of a child
    Tryna, break bread and find my way down the road
    Is breakin` my soul, these pot holes are takin` they toll
    Cuz when the block get hot, that`s when your home go cold
    And these little kid games when we grown, grow old
    So, I`m tryna live for 2morrow, I ain`t promised today
    Cryin` over last week`s loss, is only a waste
    Of tears, not tryna waste my years
    Erase my fears, get to any place but here
    Damn, girl it`s like I can`t embrace your love
    But when push come to shove, I can`t replace those hugs
    So many niggas in the hood can`t escape that drug
    And you grabbed me heart first to help me raise that son

    A.i

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  2. October 5th, 2005, 01:56 PM #2
    Mystery~Murdera
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    Tryna, break bread and find my way down the road
    Is breakin` my soul, these pot holes are takin` they toll
    Cuz when the block get hot, that`s when your home go cold
    wow... line of the week...



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  3. October 5th, 2005, 01:56 PM #3
    Blackflags
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    Yo Ment......This Shit Is Deep Man, I Like This, It's Short, But Sweet! And Has A Nice Little Short Story Line To It Man.....Ill Drop Son


    Keep 'Em Comin!!!


    Pz.
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  4. October 5th, 2005, 01:57 PM #4
    Nique.
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    this was dope..

    and the flow was real nice

    you said a lot of meaningful shit in here

    good shit

    So, I`m tryna live for 2morrow, I ain`t promised today
    Cryin` over last week`s loss, is only a waste
    Of tears, not tryna waste my years
    Erase my fears, get to any place but here
    Damn, girl it`s like I can`t embrace your love
    But when push come to shove, I can`t replace those hugs
    So many niggas in the hood can`t escape that drug


    ^Favorite part...real fluid

    good shit
    AI. Legendary.
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  5. October 5th, 2005, 01:58 PM #5
    Paradox1080p
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    nice man, don;t normaly peep text, but this was more in the structure of a song..
    good emotion, short but sweet...props..
    i liked the grown man with a heart of a child line..

    pz

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  6. October 5th, 2005, 01:59 PM #6
    Nahlidge
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    Appreciate the feedback. And Noor it`s a verse for a track. I don`t write much shit mainly for text anymore.

    A.i

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  7. October 5th, 2005, 05:27 PM #7
    J-Hova
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    Yo this shit was fire homey u spit flames this shit is hot kid
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  8. October 6th, 2005, 01:28 PM #8
    Nahlidge
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    Uppin`.

    A.i

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  9. October 6th, 2005, 06:10 PM #9
    Mistral
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
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  10. October 6th, 2005, 06:49 PM #10
    K-RicK
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    yo tight rhyme
    i liked the flow and the structure of that
    some meaningful shit that u spit
    tight for real homie, keep spittin
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  11. October 6th, 2005, 06:58 PM #11
    Pharoah.
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    it was ok......... itd prolly flow betta to a songs beat.. like waht youre doing with it
    only thing really missing was vocab and a bit more multies......

    pz
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    Poetry

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    Last Word
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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....
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  12. October 6th, 2005, 07:52 PM #12
    guiffre
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    Pretty Nice Ment, short but to the point.
    theres something about your work that stands out to me....in a good way though. It might be short but i really enjoyed the poetic vibe it gave me.

    Good Job man
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  13. October 6th, 2005, 10:38 PM #13
    Infamousfelonies
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    I don't know what you guys was reading but it wasn't that hot. It was alright I mean it's apparent that you guys are friends or something from the way that you are talking about this piece. I don't care for it that much because this has been done before maybe if jay-z hadn't done it first then I would have liked a lot more better. Your structure was good and your topic was fine. But your rhyming was basic nothing special what really got me was when somebody said this was a deep piece. WOW but no diss man you know I like it. But I'm not going to kiss your azz and worship your ground or nothing like that.
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  14. October 6th, 2005, 11:41 PM #14
    Domain 9
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    That was a good piece Nahlidge. I liked:

    Cryin` over last week`s loss, is only a waste
    Of tears, not tryna waste my years
    Erase my fears, get to any place but here
    Damn, girl it`s like I can`t embrace your love
    But when push come to shove, I can`t replace those hugs
    So many niggas in the hood can`t escape that drug

    I was really feeling that part and the rest was average... I have seen MUCH hotter verses come out of you but this is still a good read... Good job fam.

    pz n cherries
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    Damn Girl!
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  15. October 6th, 2005, 11:50 PM #15
    Mic D
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    nice kid.....it is deep......nice wordplay thrown in......but its more about the emotion then anything else that makes it nice
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