my down fall

[tjb]

yall gonna vote for explitot for his raps
niggaz that vote need to be kick back
motherfucking car jack
because all them niggaz didn't like me from the start
man im'a slam some raps fam here it goes man
expiltot is not hot he will get shot that nigga will get nok
im am the legend ive been name the rap captian
check out my resident ive been the rap president
niggaz get mad because i got talent
if you don't like then buck so what
niggaz going to vote for them anyway thats luck!
my rap legend start in sessions nigga read my lessons
for them ill smack them with timz
false alarm just got call for a harm
nigga name ice age ill turn him like a page
leave him shot up on a stage now niggaz feel my rage
im am total with out explicitot he's just local
niggaz hear him in his city but he rap so felty
nigga do a blow job with ice age he busted a nut quickly
then niggaz are gay they listen to whitney and bobby
they like the same completely
they all on drugs they strip in clubs
im so icy that ice age can't fight me!
nigga won't last 5 seconds in a compton party
nigga get hit with glass bottles
500 hits he's a american idol
nigga got hitted more than a wrestler's title
man you and your buddy explicitot suck cock
i not going to bother there life sucks together
im good in the hood
i don't got to worry about getting hit with wood
ill turn your head into a speaker
bang like a lil jon feature
you talk about i need a reading teacher
but where's your dick riderz
they all have sex doing monday to friday on the streets
thats why you on this website all through the week
nigga your lines are boring
don't you hear the website talking
'' i don't like ice age'' '' i don't like ice age''
damn! your making your computer hate you
so why you won't go back to the gay club that had rape you!

just riddles nigga

just little flows

you can't top off those!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tjb]

i need some feedbacks yall

[The Vortex]

well i wont get into what your rapping about in this piece.. but well your structure and flow has improved since your last crazy headed joints....

niga nigaz was used too many times... so it gets meh...

check out the dictionary n cop some vocab 2 up yo shit.. and keep the flow as even as possible

[tjb]

more reads please!!!!!!!!!

[Johnny 6-feet]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[Alphabetized]

well ur structure was ok, some was a little bit messy and crap
you vocab could deffenetly have been elevated a little more you
were spitting a ton of basic stuff.
Your flow was a bit choppy at some points 2,
I didnt really like this verse anyways, didnt understand
what u were saying half the time...
5/10 ..... thats it...

[K-RicK]

yo this piece was aight
ur flow was lil off and structure wasnt too good,
but its got some potential
it was a lil hard to follow with the mispelled words and
shit but other than that it was tight, jus needs some improvement
overall i give it a 5 outa 10

[Trema]

As you dissed me i should just be a herb and leave shit feed but i wont!

You have improved a lil, you need to up your vocab alot and re-structure your shit. And sort out them rhymes homs!

Now you can take my feed as a fort and use it to get better or dick ride, ur choice!

Work on your vocab, keep it up

[~ladie_streetz~]

okay at some points you didnt rhyme. the flow w]and structure wanst on point either. work on better vocab use and better rhymes. for a topic like this and as well as your title, you should have made this more detailed with life situations that explain the reason why the drop has the title it has. work on your flow and it was also very long, next time if the shits gonna be that long, make sure its something every one will enjoy reading worth their time. i saw no purpose, so try to improve your skills.
hit this up, return the feed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=238574