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Thread: Another Year...

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,870
    Battle Record
    18-6

    Another Year...

    Another Year.

    wake up from cold sweats, my best bet, stay alive and break dreams
    cuz faith seems to have me ready to scream and im only 15
    growin from these roots, taking the path that'll lead me to the top
    my feeat. always moving, always changing, never in the same spot
    been through good times, type of memories that'll never be overwritten
    being able to run home.. to my moms, n help her by pitchin in
    but ive gone through bad, being ill.. but i thank God for living
    cuz sickness only gets better, after every piece you've written
    in the hot, cold, and mild times.. all being happy seasons
    w/ my family and friends on my side.. never seeing any treason
    my soul elevates, mentally and physically growing
    positive signs im showing, and immatureness im throwing
    the mind of a young man, filled w/ plenty of fascinating thoughts
    ready to untie my true power.. and loosen the knot
    been waiting patiently.. and now my time of shine is here
    ive learned from the past, its time for the future....
    AND A WHOLE NOTHER YEAR..



    my bday in an hour :yes:..

    btw this my first topical.. so if its kinda wack..well yah...still elevating on topicals..
    Last edited by ToTwoToo; September 27th, 2005 at 11:02 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    . . . . . .
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Trey Oh Five
    Age
    40
    Posts
    1,772
    Battle Record
    27-7
    ...lmao...

    damn this for a first topical was nice as hell u did what was told to do....yeaya....
    but yea ya emotion was definitly felt and ya imagry was ill u had nice multis in there gave ya verse another demesion and ur vocab was at par......


    thats whassup fam i think u mite have a knak for topicals ...

    and if u aint online in and hour



    HAPPY BIRTHDAY


    keep on elevatin with dopeness


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  4. #4
    Back rile1's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Hayward Ca
    Age
    33
    Posts
    1,815
    Battle Record
    16-26
    pretty nice, u didnt go witht he all-out multie style like so many are trying. This seemed a lil too much like poetry though. U need to use a lil more bigger words and try to make it longer even though u prolly just freed this for fun. Not bad actually though. If u can think stuff out u can be dope man. read some topicals in legends and in SS so u can see how people write their words. Try listening to music too. And maybe try writing a story with it once or twice. But not bad, 6/10, good job-PEACE

  5. #5
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    DAMN......and this only ur first.....

    I liked this peice....imagery was off the chain....(i felt like i was there witnessing the hold thing)..... nice use of words.........it had complexity.....nice vocab.........and some OM'S are simple and shit but this, this was good .....title matched the peice and ery thing....nice job man i'll be lookin for some more of ur shit in the future......keep up the good work......



    if u get time go check out my poem(Don't Tell Me) its in Poetic Scriptures......

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Leave better feedback. 2 lines for feed does not cut it.

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