Lol.. another crazy style piece.. nice shit man.
Started off well.. some cool lines. Structure was pretty bad.. but mainly in the first verse.. second was fine. Wasn't many multies.. I dunno what the other feedback dude was on about.. but it had enough to keep me reading anyway.
Some funny lines.. & I thought the eat Gods embryo line was illy.
Overall.. not your best thing.. but for bits and pieces thrown together it's pretty good.
Props spa.
Wow, I love the creativety. It seemed like you were all over the place at times but but It hit very hard. I actually liked the way you hit up different topics all In two verses. All in all those verses were fire homie. Nice shit!
lol^Get it? cum so far? Im confused i just lost my last brain cell
Cool now i can claim dissability i hope that it pays well
Nice verses. The chorus is confusing tho, you shud work on that. Some of the punches were really witty, and others really shitty. I guess you got that much better from 4 yrs. ago, try to add more flow, inside of the lines. I think you could make a dope audio out of this, if you downloaded Eminem's "Role Model" instrumental and spit to that.
Stay up,
Pz.
Thanks for the feed, uppin.
Loggin off just left some feed on a couple of pieces so how about some more FEED BACK.
Ive left mad feed on other people oms and those oms wre wack, more fucking feed.
yo that was aight liked the steel hooks real gangsta just like Watts L.A. keep spittin g
everybody said everything else that was hot
^Wack feed, why dont you actually leave feedback instead of just one line of feed you all should be banned for that shit, uppin.
Lgging off uppin this for the last time.
"Get it? cum so far? Im confused i just lost my last brain cell
Cool now i can claim dissability i hope that it pays well"
lol... had some crazy shit in here fam. enjoyed reading.
peace.
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[SOUNDCLICK]9629246[/SOUNDCLICK]
honestly, awhile ago.... i was reading this, den i read that cum line and just left the thread, but i came back now and i read the whole thing, and heres what i got to say: flow was nice, and both yer verses were very solid, i got nothing really to criticize, tha cum line followed up with a niec punchline. i enjoyed the read. fav lines:
‘‘Get it? cum so far? Im confused i just lost my last brain cell
Cool now i can claim dissability i hope that it pays well’’
funny.
‘‘How come when Santa Clause says Ho Ho Ho they pay it no mind
But when a rapper says it the media and dykes say its a crime’’
ha, that was funny too.
keep it up.
phenomenal hip-hop.
open mic:
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mann i loved this shit right here, from beggining to end. intro in particular was funny as fuck. no doubt that this would flow nice in an audio. punches were hard hitting, imagery was crisp, vocab could have been bettered a bit. you also might just wana work on your structure, at some points you stressed too much shit in a single line/verse.
im loving this shit right here still... keep it up man
E.ducated N.igga
Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning. - Erwin Rommel
Daym, that was hot shit! lmao, hell made me get a smile on ma face.. and u had hell tight rhymes, fukin dope drop!!! wicked lines in there man, and wordplay n punches were on point... i cant really say nethin elce.. other then hell good, and ima jus be waiting on ya other part ya addin.. hell loving to read more *thumbs up*
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