1st open mic. upping on feed.

[KriZ]

Ayo.... these bitches wanted me to release my full rage/
so i went and fucked them up and showed them my truthfull rage/
now im takin my shit to the battlefield and show em a full engage/
I've just been let loose out of my own cramped up hell of a cage/
now yall better back off cuz im goin on a chargin rampage/
imma show u some shit that gonna set off a new era age/
in hiphop that is being put down by glamor and violence/
rappers claimin they letting guns bust but i neva see no bodies droppin/
g-unit being honored as tru members 2 hip hop for some shitty ass fiction/
like in there video my buddy usin cartoon characters and actin as if they the shit/
but fuck them now this is it, look for more shit spit by kriz in the future.


May not be the best but yeah.

[CrazyCarl]

With the length of your lines, there's a lot of space for internal rhyming. Didn't meet the line requirement, try to post your best, something you're proud of. If you planned out your piece, you could have focused on the message. You skipped around with topics, probably because you were led by what you had to rhyme with.

[KriZ]

aiight i know what u mean, thx for the feed ~1

[Evil_Joey]

read others posts.. its were you learn the most. read the feed back on there posts... try and add the good coments itno what you do.. and learn from there mistakes. bad feed back sucks to get. so learn from others.

[Mistral]

16 line minimum and needs a legit title.