surreal life

[djb]

Laying in a lazy lackadaisical state I stare with unfocused eyes
gliding gingerly on the clouds in my mind heaven is recognized
I visualized images of a beauty running through the jasmines
she flowed in an elegant fashion, this girl became my passion
glancin’ back smiling with an accent implying love is present
thought I left it, but im falling again and the descent is pleasant
asleep these feelings are omnipresent, I cant imagine leaving
fleeing reality’s omniscient nature I escape into simply believing
feeling your essence mold my adolescence into a higher form
I absorb your glances, because moments minus you I cant afford
you lift me higher then the angels soar when I hear your laugh
around you every second is a blast, I want this to forever last
forget the past and progress to a spectacular future of just us
through hugs I feel your heartbeat’s that message we must trust
the lines lie amongst a commitment more solid then concrete
be there through the most sour times to ensure you stay sweet
though I know it’s cliche to say, but you make me complete
your mind is like the ocean tides wiping distress from my feet
after working I cant help smirking before I go to fall asleep
the dreams seem to bring a scene filled with a beauty to meet
it’s your presence I greet every night, indulging in happiness
I cant be imagining this, so I coax you into reality with sappy gifts
evanescence of my effervescent dream weaver is not an option
adaption of your being boggled my emotions, I cant stop them
my senses are running out of control like the girl of my dreams
these reoccurring themes team schemes of a destiny to achieve
streams of thought leave you and me in the banks of memory
essentially waking and exiting a serenity with you has to be
that’s true for most, but not for me, I have actually found you
I knew I was bound to, but you had an even more beautiful view
the scenery and setting was different, however that didn’t matter
I got lost in your eyes as strange brain waves began to scatter
then after conversing I found you too had dreams just like me
yours were of stardom reciting screenplays in the acting scene
recently your part was lost and I felt the same pain you endured
I felt absurd knowing I couldn’t comfort hurt within your words
no actions of mine could make right or reverse all of her strife
I wanted to let her know she is still a star on the stage of life
so all I could say was this, “dream a dream of perfection for two”
so you too could live in a surreal heaven built for me and you

[Johnny 6-feet]

I already read this in the SS so i'll add my two pennies here. I know the topic was a motherfucker so i'm impressed you managed to make a decent piece out of it. The vocab was strong here and the imagery you used really conveyed the narrator's feelings for this girl. Some multi's in there as well which helped the overall flow of the piece. I think you should've broken the structure of this up more though since its a big fucking block of text.

Good work anyway, Poet.

Could you do me a favour and peep the collab i did with Para? We're getting sick of being slept on.

[djb]

thanks man i will check your piece tonight when i get off work. yeah the topic was a bitch.

[.Vendetta.]

I already read this in the SS so i'll add my two pennies here. I know the topic was a motherfucker so i'm impressed you managed to make a decent piece out of it. The vocab was strong here and the imagery you used really conveyed the narrator's feelings for this girl. Some multi's in there as well which helped the overall flow of the piece. I think you should've broken the structure of this up more though since its a big fucking block of text.

Good work anyway, Poet.

Could you do me a favour and peep the collab i did with Para? We're getting sick of being slept on.

Agreed..

Also Like To Add This Had Some Nice Emotion Man..Imagery Was Cool Story Line Meh..Vocabulary Don't Really Matter Here Man But Still Structure Was Nice I Caught Onto A Few Wordplay Here Which Was Cool For A Piece Liek This Overall Cool Piece Man Keep This Up

[djb]

upping this

[Violent.]

this was dope peice.

Your first line instantly grabbed my attention with some complexed rhyme scheme introduced. Vocab was amazing, again introduced in your first line.

But what really grabbed me in this peice, was the imagery and how you conveyed the storyline.

glancin’ back smiling with an accent implying love is present
thought I left it, but im falling again and the descent is pleasant
asleep these feelings are omnipresent, I cant imagine leaving
fleeing reality’s omniscient nature I escape into simply believing
feeling your essence mold my adolescence into a higher form
I absorb your glances, because moments minus you I cant afford
you lift me higher then the angels soar when I hear your laugh
around you every second is a blast, I want this to forever last
forget the past and progress to a spectacular future of just us
through hugs I feel your heartbeat’s that message we must trust
the lines lie amongst a commitment more solid then concrete
be there through the most sour times to ensure you stay sweet

^^ that part especially.

Overall this was a very dope peice. Very dope indeed.

Hit up my collab with Kareless

-Cann

[G-Money]

this was dope peice.

Your first line instantly grabbed my attention with some complexed rhyme scheme introduced. Vocab was amazing, again introduced in your first line.

-Cann

agree^^ lot of emotion and imagery... put together very well and thoughtfully... i liked the story behind it... vocab was amazing, liked the wordplay and the mutlis... i've said this before but u always amaze me with your drops cuz u got that poetic touch similar to 2pac... u reach deep into urself n bring out the best and i respect that, and enjoy reading ur drops...good shit keep droppin... will u return the favor and check out my latest piece : http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=231230

[djb]

thank you very much guys. and all favors have been returned. drop links.

[Spoken]

this was a sick drop, really liked it, you had some sick multi's and nice punches, real nice vocab, really good drop overall, keep droppin dope shit like dis homie, check my battle in my sig and vote fair please.

[djb]

thanks up

[djb]

upp