[ The Messenger ]

[T.M.]

I'm a hazard when people see my face they scatter,
this worlds a disaster hurricanes move with destruction,
winds pulling you in like seduction, I accept rejection
Lord your word I'm only accepting, I'm dispensing
my bad habits don't want to be hook like crack addicts,
besides I'm asthmatic don't laugh at it, people say I'm
bad at it but who are they to judge at this, don't have
the mentality so you remain abyss, determination is
intoxicating in Lord you I'm only embracing sin I'm erasing,
no longer chasing that evil path sometimes I fall the devil
laughs, everywhere I look it's the same old hook, I'm
the messenger not the cross dresser, get it right as my
flow ignites, I'm inferior I drop on my nees cause your
superior, I can only dream of meeting supreme king, your
the key to eternal life people don't care so they strap on
strife, but as the end draws near I see crystal clear,
wake up and open your eyes we might be living two complete
different lives but we all strive, biblical prophecy coming
true listen up this is what truth can do to you, the world
is at chaos Bush is are president but when it's time to
help he's always hesitant, natural disasters that are to
be meant, sin is all over I can smell it's sent, and this
is only the tip of it's iceberg, this is not titanic so
there's no need to panic, no I'm not schizophrenic I'm not
psychotic I might have lost brain cells but I still got my logic..


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...96#post3101796
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/newr...te=1&p=3100692

[Cody Nash]

Your topic was nice...HATED your vocab...Your flow was way off......either that or your structure needs to be fixed up a little better....For a first try I don't expect any less than this...but Other than that...This is based on your name obviously....Maybe try lengthening your vocab or go Elevate or skills a little more....Keep trying though...
5.6/10......

[T.M.]

allright man, thanks for the feed.

[T.M.]

uppin for some feed back...

[CrazyCarl]

Your structure definitely needs work, you need to place your rhymes better, so that its a smoother read. Your rhyming is something that you need to improve as well, which will come with writing more. There were rhymes that were incredibly forced. Work on some topicals to elevate.
Return the feedback on my friend's piece
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224626

[T.M.]

alright man thanks for your feed............