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Thread: better days

  1. #1
    None
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    20,660
    Battle Record
    18-0

    better days

    I need someone to test my patience..
    and make me stronger...
    I'm lasting longer out of desperation
    took my time & spent it waiting
    for tomorrow...
    but tomorrow came & was a day of sorrow
    happiness was borrowed.. faked when greeting strangers
    paused my responsibility & ignored the beeping pager
    but the noise wouldn't go away
    & skys were growing gray, in my imagination
    didn't bring this upon myself..
    on my state of bliss a plagiarist formed an aberration
    couldnt admit, it was really me and my kind of cancer
    ignored the problem as i struggled to find an answer..
    so it grew, i stood by spineless,
    thinking of better days...not knowing how to find it

  2. #2
    It's Willie Baby Willy B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    2,684
    Battle Record
    13-17
    short sweet and a om about a girl..depressing makes me think about my girl. nice vocab overall good nothing over the top dope but nice vocab suited the topic which is nice nice use of different words say the say thing good not dope but good....feebly getting dizzope on topical tip.....lol word

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Posts
    9,465
    This was really dope feebs. Flowed pretty smooth and had great vocab. This was also worded very nice and the ending was ill.

    Good read.

  4. #4
    K.T: The Assassin ~ladie_streetz~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Frm Da Nati the 513 area! Sin~city aka Riot City is where i be 513 WalnutHillz D.T.W
    Age
    35
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    2,734
    Battle Record
    75-28
    Awards 75+ Wins
    very sweet, but also sad in a way
    you did a nice job with this keep up what you're doing i like your style
    it was short, but great imaginary parts
    its real in all ways nad i love it
    you're welcome

  5. #5
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    pretty ill...not the best thing ive read from you by far..but still pretty ill...this piece was short..but emotion filled...nice imagery and vocab...not to over tha top with it..right on point..keep droppin..and could you check out tha link in my sig titled Corrupt Authority..or Concrete Roses......id appreciate it.~1~


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