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Thread: Alchemy - Full Version

  1. #1
    Whitey Cracker Snowman Haywood Jewblomi's Avatar
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    Alchemy - Full Version

    A few people read my most recent OM, Alchemy, and commented it was a little short, so I've made a longer 2 verse version. Hopefully you'll all enjoy the read and the wordplay.


    When I write, words flow through my mind like a river of gold,
    Cold thought become as hot as the oceans are old,
    I’ll scratch my words across the planet with the philosopher’s stone,
    And use the throne of Atlantis as my holiday home,
    I’ll rap on a knife edge, locked in the thoughts of your team,
    This blade runner lives in nightmares like when robots dream,
    I’m human language in the form of an emcee,
    So whenever you rap, remember you’ll just be quoting me,
    I’ll firestorm through Hamburg and blow up in Nagasaki,
    I’m the iron curtain; your money chasing ways couldn’t get at me,
    Your verses are one part sulphur mixed with two parts lead,
    Selling chemicals and firing bullets is all you’ve ever said,
    You think the fast route to riches is by speaking that alchemy,
    When that way of thinking died out with medieval mentality,
    I’ll walk the desert and turn my back on a Midas dream,
    Because I’d rather die of thirst than drown in the main stream,

    I use the nature around me as inspiration for my words,
    That’s why they run over you like those buffalo herds,
    My happy hunting grounds can’t be defiled by your Armani souls,
    Because I write with the spirit of the Dead Sea scrolls,
    El Dorado lyrics can’t compare to mine,
    Because my mind finds lines that outlast time,
    You’re on a never ending search for a city of gold,
    Whereas I’ve found peace in the ruins of old,

    If you say you rapped before me, I’ll travel back in time,
    Tear up Cleopatra’s needle, and use it to write a line,
    I’ll go back even further and rearrange the stars,
    And have the World in awe of the first one hundred bars,
    To put it plainly, you’re barely even shit to me,
    You look on Hip Hop culture as a Job, whereas I take it literally,
    I treat Hip Hop as a beautiful woman to look on with joy,
    You look on her with greed and use her as a sex toy,
    It seems my voice alone screams rape from the sidelines,
    As Hip Hop gets torn apart by a crowd looking for a gold mine,
    Well, I’ll let this modern day alchemy happen no more,
    While you come looking for battles, I come looking for war
    If you burn down Hip Hop to warm up the masses,
    I’ll call forth a flaming phoenix from the ashes,
    For as long as you insist that you’re better than me,
    I’ll freeze over hell and make pencil lead from your gold CD,

    I use the nature around me as inspiration for my words,
    That’s why they run over you like those buffalo herds,
    My happy hunting grounds can’t be defiled by your Armani souls,
    Because I write with the spirit of the Dead Sea scrolls,
    El Dorado lyrics can’t compare to mine,
    Because my mind finds lines that outlast time,
    You’re on a never ending search for a city of gold,
    Whereas I’ve found peace in the ruins of old.


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...10#post2974910
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...35#post2974935
    I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
    ...........Eat Shit and Die!
    ..................../
    ............:vanja:

  2. #2
    $<-Lucci->$
    Guest
    yo good shit
    altho in some parts it was in and out.
    you still had good imagery and word play
    yo you got more then most so keep it fresh

  3. #3
    :.There will be Blood.:
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    wow... very good drop...
    Loved the flow... went together very well
    Dope Vocab as well... very good drop

    *Peep my battle in my sig and My om if ya don't mind*
    thanks
    :.Apollo .:

  4. #4
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    very dope..i liked tha hook...every aspect was very ill...i loved tha way this flowed..very intricately written as well...dopeness in its purest form...i did enjoy the first verse the most...maybe you could take the first verse..and i could write a verse..then we could do a sort of remix like bit wit this...i dont know...its up to you...hit me up though...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


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  5. #5
    Whitey Cracker Snowman Haywood Jewblomi's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback. I'd be up for doing a collab certainly. (Upping 1)
    I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
    ...........Eat Shit and Die!
    ..................../
    ............:vanja:

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    You had some good ideas,but on the other hand,some seemed..used before.

    but allot were pretty original and the vocab was pretty good too.

    I enjoyed reading this and think that it was pretty good.
    +1541 DALC

    Pulsating angel undulating beneath 44,000 leagues of utter chaos...

    Knowledge radiating through linear distribution of the industrial cove...

    Molding the intangible ethreal fabric of a glossopalatinus marzipan....
    -Archspecies 8

    NOTHING WILL STOP MY ACHE!
    I WANNA FUCK ALL THIS SHIT I HAVE TO TAKE!!
    My enlightened state of mind my desperate DECISION!
    I find serenity in so much,pain,
    Slit my wrists and let my body,drain,
    Clench my fists and let my life slip,away,
    Cuz' only she can stop all this,pain,
    And only she can stop this fucking,pain,
    I just wish these sick thoughts would..GO AWAY
    And fucking stop the ache thats down deep inside.-Suicide of The Cephalo Pictorial

    When Im down to my last breath,
    Im gonna climb the empire state building-
    Get to the last step,and still have half left.-Eminem

  7. #7
    yo i kinda like this iz nice
    .. its like cutting edge scienc e fiction drama...
    also some nice metaphors.. wordplay is fresh .. mos def an entertaining read.. mad props fosho

    pz

  8. #8
    Whitey Cracker Snowman Haywood Jewblomi's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback so far. Upping for more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (2)
    I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
    ...........Eat Shit and Die!
    ..................../
    ............:vanja:

  9. #9
    *Peaches*
    Guest
    very strong piece... deep also
    this shit wuz long as fuck, butt intersestin..
    flo was off at times a little bit but u did well on this piece, the topic was different and very imaginable, keep it up, i'll keep readin yo shit

  10. #10
    Whitey Cracker Snowman Haywood Jewblomi's Avatar
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    Upping 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
    ...........Eat Shit and Die!
    ..................../
    ............:vanja:

  11. #11
    Moral
    Guest
    Nice Piece Imagery And Vocab Was Meh Man, Structure Ahh Okay Wordplay Was Okay Try To Fix Your Structure And Everything Up Man It'll Make Your FLow look Better.


    -Moral

  12. #12
    Whitey Cracker Snowman Haywood Jewblomi's Avatar
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    Upping for some feedback!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
    ...........Eat Shit and Die!
    ..................../
    ............:vanja:

  13. #13
    Di'Vyne
    Guest
    word man dat was hot u did real good good story tellin, good to see your fine, haha, but yah, it was easy to follow, good emotion, the flow went smoothly all the way through, the vocab was fit for this, what else can i say, it was a good piece, suspenseful kept me reading definatel
    ~1~

  14. #14
    that was some sick shit

  15. #15
    Whitey Cracker Snowman Haywood Jewblomi's Avatar
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    Upping for some more feedback! (4)
    I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
    ...........Eat Shit and Die!
    ..................../
    ............:vanja:

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