Poison

[Issue]

POISON
.
I cannot comprehend the compassion that you command,
And I shall not understand the rash actions which you demand.
I blandly stand here as a man in competition for your hand,
But I'll leave this land as an ogre, with only strands of you left over.
I'll become colder as I grow older scornfully calling I love you.
And these boulders on my shoulders will fall and they will crush you.
I will never trust you, but I must do what I need to bust through...
I need to eat and feed and breathe you just to see if Im good for you.
I'll bathe you and shave you as lovers do,
I'll go crazy over every other fool who looks at you.
I'll be lazy when you want me to, and you can save me when I'm almost through.
Treat me like a baby and raise me like you wanted to,
Kill me and still my bravery just to say I haunted you.
Taunt me, bore me... Lie and tell me that you caught me,
And that you saw me with another lady, go crazy and play dumb.
Amaze me with the outcome that you played me like an album,
Drive me insane with your inane witisism's and tantrums.
Patronise me agonisingly and cry for me unadvisadly,
Listen to me die through these verses of anxiety.
Treat me like an outcast from society and blindly strike me repeatedly.
Bite me, beat me. Lie and say you need me. Try to be me...
Dress up as me, stalk me. Let your breasts order me accordingly.
Walk with me orderly through mirrors of idiocy,
Invent a story thats more of me than any form of intamacy.
Christen me golden showerly and shower me with gold,
Powder my nose and tell me every hour to do what Im told.
Hold me, console me, blow a hole right through me.
Leave me lonely and come back to me, saying you owe me.
Boldly make a stand for me and answer me camply,
Accuse me of the gayness with my cowardly attempts of being manly.
Hand me my own gun and then make me find the bullets,
Teach me how to run a trigger but lose me on how to pull it.
Take me into your bed and hide under it: Hide and seek sexually.
Attempt to make me peak and then speak about the rest of me.
Push and pull me down to your level and let the medley of love play,
Take me away and never say that you want it another way,
Take my heart and hold it harmfully and mark me heartedly,
Bar me and saw scars into me so your forever a part of me and my pain.
Yet you're already the poison thats running through my veins.
.
.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=222046
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219015

Ok, This isn't so serious, Johnny told me to try something like this, so blame him!!!!!!!!!! lol.

[Kalos Graphē]

shit u post at tha wrong times... i was jus gonna log off, i promise 2 check it out when i get bak on aight? k cool man pc

[wyte boy$]

that was crazy...........
strructure, lyrics, worplay, and everythinng was nice.....
keep droppin

[Johnny 6-feet]

That's right Issue, put the blame on me! Lol. I dug the topic, was this based on anyone you know? I caught the humour in this piece, it was subtle but still there, i told you you could do it! Great vocab and really great imagery:

But I'll leave this land as an ogre, with only strands of you left over.
I'll become colder as I grow older scornfully calling I love you.
And these boulders on my shoulders will fall and they will crush you.

^^my faveourite lines^^

On point multis and flow and a good length which kept my interest. Keep on posting and reppin us right man.

Def Poets- because we're definately poets.

[Issue]

I like the definitely poets line!

Thanks for the feed,

Upp!

[Spoken Deity]

this is a very strange verse my friend... but good...

the flow and structure was good, and word usage was different but the repetition was cool in my opinion. you had good concepts and imagry though, which is really the high point. overall, not a horrible verse, its that johnny got you to do it...

[paul magic]

Jebes that was weird like wow i dont understand

it was kinda strange but i liked it and it was otherwise dope it had a smooth flow and i loved the intregining vocab and the uprotted multies it was great but other then that i cant complain

[Kalos Graphē]

Haha i havnt read it yet, but evry1 sayin this is sumthin new 4 u so i cant wait... here hold up while i read man... i guess it dont matter if i tell u 2 hold up lol..

Patronise me agonisingly and cry for me unadvisadly
amazing line right there^^

all in all a pretty good drop, it was a bit different than wat im used 2 seein frum u issue, and i actually like it! it was different and i think it's good that you can express yourself in different ways and expand your skill.. and it's good to see you can have fun with a piece and still make it brilliant. and that just goes to show how amazingly skilled u are... i think i liked this so much cuz it was original, it was defieing everything i kno about u issue, it was opposite your style, and u pulled it off! the rhymes were good, wait not good... awesome like usual haha, vocab, i think u already kno, and structure and flow, always good in ur pieces... i think the thing i like about u the most is, u have good beginnings, thats hard to do, but u kno wut's harder? good endings... and ur endings are not only good, they're perfect, you know exactly how to kick things off, and that is partailly wut makes ur pieces such a hit.... keep it up man, im still learnin frum u homie... haha c u already improved me alot jus by lettin me read this shit, keep it up

PS:

Ok, This isn't so serious, Johnny told me to try something like this, so blame him!!!!!!!!!! lol.

i dont think we should b blaming him, i think we should be thanking him

Def Poets- because we're definately poets.

frum wut i've seen so far, i think that's true... and watch out, cuz i hope 2 b comin up there soon, shakin tha rust off man jus like u said

~1~

[Kalos Graphē]

wow i think that was the longest feed i've ever dropped

consider urself lucky

[Issue]

I am lucky dude, thanks a lot, means much to me


Upp

[sILLable]

this did seem a bit different than your other pieces...i liked this though....good imagery....wordplay and vocab stood out....some of your bars were a little short but not to bad...i ireally liked this peice but you usualy drop tight pieces...keep droppin tha hottness as usual.~1~

[Issue]

Thank You.

Upppp

[sILLable]

oh...sorry for the free post..but woudl you hit up the link in my sig titled Concrete Roses....id appreciate it.~1~