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Thread: Blank Channel-By ~MetaSin~

  1. August 10th, 2005, 09:40 AM #1
    MetaSin
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    Lightbulb Blank Channel-By ~MetaSin~

    2 links:http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...147#post2921147
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...180#post2921180


    I flip through channels pointed at the tv is my remote
    politicians vote on people who spoke about the nations hope
    but a blank channel which has my memories often revoked
    niggas call shit dope but haters always say nope
    envy of the enemy which is so easy to be located and found
    you have to know where you left off to know where your bounds
    Channel with a black screen yet so much detail in this image
    seems to be raw and vivid no way to perfectley put it in a sentence
    but yet you don't understand the visions of another man
    we try and collect the fans just to have the upper hand
    then they turn on you and thats a fact of life,which remains true
    but you start to wonder maybe this blank channel contains you
    these are lyrical bleesings and the color of light is hazel
    and seems so refreshings as if it were the smell of basil
    look in the mirror at that frowning face,spirits all over the place
    lives being erased your being chased moving ability is a form of haste
    notice that chill up your neck look behind you qucikly breathing heavily
    talking to yourself saying "who are you I advise you not to mess with me"
    now is the time to make you must make your decision
    but the blank channel shall not allow to know your visions

    there will be a part 2 look out for it now let's get some feed back comin~1~
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  2. August 10th, 2005, 03:21 PM #2
    sILLable
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    it was aiight..but it sounded too simple to me....your wordplay..your vocab..sounded very simple...your structre was aiight...you need some multis..you need a better rhyme scheme and more complexity..keep elevatin and droppin.~1~


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  3. August 10th, 2005, 03:57 PM #3
    CrazyCarl
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    You had internal rhyming, but kept with the same schemes. A part two might help this piece, so that you can describe your concept more. I understood what you were getting at, the blank channel idea is pretty unique I guess. In some spots of the piece, it felt like you were trying to fill up the line so that the structure would be straight. It's fine to do that, but the word choice could have been improved.
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219649
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  4. August 10th, 2005, 07:21 PM #4
    MetaSin
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    thanx uppin this
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  5. August 11th, 2005, 05:06 AM #5
    MetaSin
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    Uppin this right here
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  6. August 11th, 2005, 05:10 AM #6
    MetaSin
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    wtf why aint my shit at the top
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  7. August 11th, 2005, 01:00 PM #7
    MetaSin
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    uppin for feedback man this site be sleepin
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  8. August 11th, 2005, 01:30 PM #8
    SunSpit
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    Yo i liked diz drop. It was pretty good n da topic i've neva read b4. Nice use of mulit's, wordplay, n pretty good vocab. Keep droppin. Hit up da links in my sig honestly. 1
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  9. August 12th, 2005, 12:42 AM #9
    MetaSin
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    uppin for feedback
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  10. August 12th, 2005, 12:50 AM #10
    Duece D
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    ill drop, good vocab, i think the wordplay coulda been betta....and like C said, it seemed like u kinda threw words in there jus to make the structure complete.

    but i liked it homie 7/10

    do ya thang
    da illest freestyla's
    Cassidy

    Lil Wayne

    Jay Z

    Nas


    Fabolous
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  11. August 12th, 2005, 02:12 AM #11
    MetaSin
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    uppin this again appreciate the feedback
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  12. August 12th, 2005, 02:15 AM #12
    elemental_game
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    a fam i was really actually into this for some reason lmao the rhymes were to basic at times but u kept ur flow.....plz look at my open mic in my sig
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