Chronic insecurity, rebirth of humiliation, taunted in your early days and now reserved with little patience,
No faith in me, true desperation to mistust all that i speak and fail to get too close, prefer to turn the other cheek,
You swore I was your everything, you held me tight at first but if ever I left without you, you'd always expect the worst,
Question me about my whereabouts, the second I got home and request to see 'caller ID' soon as I came off the phone,
You'd bitch and moan, I bought into it, scared of losing you and apologised for all the things you made me believe i shouldn't do,
As the months dragged on, your paranoid obsession deepened, you'd going out drinking every night, and sleep it off on weekends,
Left alone I'd wander, stumbling along paved streets, breath reeking of alcohol, make up bleeding down my cheeks,
Pleading for redemption, and freedom from the chains of a broken, distant relationship, with loss, but futile gain,
You drove me to contemplation, that I may have been the cause, of all neglect and suffering, destroyed everything there ever was,
And the guilt ate at my concience, internally bleeding, cold inside, until I put off making love to you, and instead just sat and cried,
Tears falling to the floor, every spare minute I'd wipe my eyes this unhealthy perseverance, blinded me from furthur lies,
You'd leave for work early, before I'd rose from a restless sleep, unfulfilled, spiralling depression, leaving me unwelcome; weak,
The tablets didn't help me, i found refuge within the dark, empty, agrophobia, afraid of peoples cruel remarks,
You'd return and head upstairs, prefering not to see my face breathing heavily as you passed me, as if my sight brought you disgrace,
Anger became your outlet, and who was I to sit and plea? shouting, screaming, swearing, yet this was what you did to me,
Your startling immaturity,and grossly tainted accusation, of infidelity on my part, soon was our only topic for conversation,
You'd yell and spit at me, in sheer frustration, no one knew this demonstration of violence only connected me to you.
The hatred in your pupils, almost burning through my skin, it tore my flesh apart inside, it killed me from within,
And it hurt, oh God, it hurt...to know how insulted i made you feel, embarrassment, resentment, sheer hatred, cold, surreal.
Like nothing I'd ever seen before, every punch, it served its due, I only wish you'd hold me close, thats all I crave from you.
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Thanks for that, now someone else can see why I use it! Your opener set the stage for a fine piece, and the closing lines ended dramatically and emotionally well, you edged this piece all you could and you shone through with it. The above line I quoted was the best I read here, some real deep and poetic imagery I was really feeling, your flow didnt see to matter in this piece as it was simply a poem in Open Mic form in my eyes, Im glad to say I know you and even more glad we're side by Side FanTa! 