Just a preview

[SinSeer]

I'm new here, been observing for a couple of weeks, and I think I have what it takes...I wrote this a few months back, let me know what you think.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT MAKES ME UNFORGETTABLE

I don't rob dudes or steal too much
I won't murder you or kill for a dutch
I heal what I touch, put it to a good use
I squeal with the clutch, slug back the juice
I don't drink too much, that ain't my style,
No point in losing control of self for a high
There's no need to be muddy when you can fly
Above a shitty life, towards higher purpose
Get up out from the gutter, reach for the surface.
My creative juices flow like none other
Every minute ideas come, one, then another
Show love to my brother, through thick and thin
Unconditional kind, like is given from Him,
I write on a whim, never play around
I write what I think, and I'll stay my ground
Take what I found, and draw from it inspiration
I blaze with a sound that's understood in every nation
This rap game is not what it used to be
Nor will it ever be as when it began
When singing was not part of the plan.
God gave me a hand, sent me the right way
Now I chose my words carefully, cosider what I say.
Consider what I spray, don't want to inflict hurt
But I will inflict pain if you covet my shirt
Or want my success or yet worse, to stop it
There are some people that say "I got a gun and I'll pop it"
That's when I drop it, and kick them in the face
I jump in my ride and begin the chase
I can beat the case, if it ever gets to court
Self defense is not fault, but I ain't the sort
To start shit that could put others in harm's way
So I will distract and the game--I'll play.
I will get the fool in an alley, one-on-one
In the meantime I've dialed 9-1-1
Got a whole squad coming to back me up
But first I got a qualm, cuz dude stuck ME up
I have never fought for stakes this high
I might just black out, If I'm to get by
If you hear no words come from my lips
The next thing you see might be is your blood-as it drips
A busted lip, you'll be taking to the station
Now once again...this is the sound of every nation
We HIP HOP to the greatest beats and rhymes
And we only remember the best of times,
So do not write checks you can not cash
Otherwise, I will drop the mike and be whuppin your ass.

holla back

[:InSaNe:]

7/10

[sILLable]

elevate...you need to read tha rules before you post in here...yor your pieces are gonna get closed

[2hot2handle]

I think you got potential. Now ur a newbie here and you need to elevate on ya vocab ( which is better than most newbs that come in) and need to wrok on flow. Try usin more metaphors and stay away from basic. Now I realize its the music u listen to. If you listen to most mainstream Im not surprised. But to get better listen to more guys. Ive been listenin to a lot of wu tang clan and I think its helpin me. Listenin to Nas helps me. Check some of the doper cats and get some ideas.

[pnutgottheox]

I'm new here, been observing for a couple of weeks, and I think I have what it takes...I wrote this a few months back, let me know what you think.



I don't rob dudes or steal too much
I won't murder you or kill for a dutch
I heal what I touch, put it to a good use
I squeal with the clutch, slug back the juice
I don't drink too much, that ain't my style,
No point in losing control of self for a high
There's no need to be muddy when you can fly
Above a shitty life, towards higher purpose
Get up out from the gutter, reach for the surface.
My creative juices flow like none other
Every minute ideas come, one, then another
Show love to my brother, through thick and thin
Unconditional kind, like is given from Him,
I write on a whim, never play around
I write what I think, and I'll stay my ground
Take what I found, and draw from it inspiration
I blaze with a sound that's understood in every nation
This rap game is not what it used to be
Nor will it ever be as when it began
When singing was not part of the plan.
God gave me a hand, sent me the right way
Now I chose my words carefully, cosider what I say.
Consider what I spray, don't want to inflict hurt
But I will inflict pain if you covet my shirt
Or want my success or yet worse, to stop it
There are some people that say "I got a gun and I'll pop it"
That's when I drop it, and kick them in the face
I jump in my ride and begin the chase
I can beat the case, if it ever gets to court
Self defense is not fault, but I ain't the sort
To start shit that could put others in harm's way
So I will distract and the game--I'll play.
I will get the fool in an alley, one-on-one
In the meantime I've dialed 9-1-1
Got a whole squad coming to back me up
But first I got a qualm, cuz dude stuck ME up
I have never fought for stakes this high
I might just black out, If I'm to get by
If you hear no words come from my lips
The next thing you see might be is your blood-as it drips
A busted lip, you'll be taking to the station
Now once again...this is the sound of every nation
We HIP HOP to the greatest beats and rhymes
And we only remember the best of times,
So do not write checks you can not cash
Otherwise, I will drop the mike and be whuppin your ass.

holla back

u a bitch u can lean back like a clutch/
and i like trees sop u can get killed for a dutch/
im like a boulder on ur baq nigga im to much/
so u my nigga u bout to feel the pain/
wat u kno about standin in the brix sellin kane/
u talkin bout whoopin ass please nigga u cant bang/
ill walk down ur block and u aint gon do a dam thang/
but on the real ur time ran out on the clock/
u a bitch that why u ran out on ur block/
the bullets is heated thats why they ran out of the glock/
and after u read this i bet u try to hop on my cock/


ayo dmg i see u bugzy wats poppin these niggas dont want it thats wat im bringin 4 niggas that want it holla at me bitch

[Visual Chemist]

aight man you should be more as a poetic i can see that in you you have nice coming in yuo have plenty of potential you could work on vocabulary but you had some nice structure going on i could actually feel what you was talking about in that verse it was nice you should do more it always helps us learn expecually me nice job though

[SinSeer]

u a bitch u can lean back like a clutch/
and i like trees sop u can get killed for a dutch/
im like a boulder on ur baq nigga im to much/
so u my nigga u bout to feel the pain/
wat u kno about standin in the brix sellin kane/
u talkin bout whoopin ass please nigga u cant bang/
ill walk down ur block and u aint gon do a dam thang/
but on the real ur time ran out on the clock/
u a bitch that why u ran out on ur block/
the bullets is heated thats why they ran out of the glock/
and after u read this i bet u try to hop on my cock/


ayo dmg i see u bugzy wats poppin these niggas dont want it thats wat im bringin 4 niggas that want it holla at me bitch

if guns is the topic, i'll admit no knowledge
but i got something on you dude-im going to college
i forget things better than your lyrics will ever be
my grammar is top notch, and i'm winning the spelling bee
so if ya as hood as you really think you are
come find the battle post, im'a make you a star

thanx to everybody for their comments, i appreciate that. i'm looking to Mos Def right now, and Dead Prez. Any other suggestions besides Nas and the Wu?