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Thread: Just a preview

  1. #1
    Rap's best kept secret SinSeer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    76
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Lightbulb Just a preview

    I'm new here, been observing for a couple of weeks, and I think I have what it takes...I wrote this a few months back, let me know what you think.

    WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT MAKES ME UNFORGETTABLE

    I don't rob dudes or steal too much
    I won't murder you or kill for a dutch
    I heal what I touch, put it to a good use
    I squeal with the clutch, slug back the juice
    I don't drink too much, that ain't my style,
    No point in losing control of self for a high
    There's no need to be muddy when you can fly
    Above a shitty life, towards higher purpose
    Get up out from the gutter, reach for the surface.
    My creative juices flow like none other
    Every minute ideas come, one, then another
    Show love to my brother, through thick and thin
    Unconditional kind, like is given from Him,
    I write on a whim, never play around
    I write what I think, and I'll stay my ground
    Take what I found, and draw from it inspiration
    I blaze with a sound that's understood in every nation
    This rap game is not what it used to be
    Nor will it ever be as when it began
    When singing was not part of the plan.
    God gave me a hand, sent me the right way
    Now I chose my words carefully, cosider what I say.
    Consider what I spray, don't want to inflict hurt
    But I will inflict pain if you covet my shirt
    Or want my success or yet worse, to stop it
    There are some people that say "I got a gun and I'll pop it"
    That's when I drop it, and kick them in the face
    I jump in my ride and begin the chase
    I can beat the case, if it ever gets to court
    Self defense is not fault, but I ain't the sort
    To start shit that could put others in harm's way
    So I will distract and the game--I'll play.
    I will get the fool in an alley, one-on-one
    In the meantime I've dialed 9-1-1
    Got a whole squad coming to back me up
    But first I got a qualm, cuz dude stuck ME up
    I have never fought for stakes this high
    I might just black out, If I'm to get by
    If you hear no words come from my lips
    The next thing you see might be is your blood-as it drips
    A busted lip, you'll be taking to the station
    Now once again...this is the sound of every nation
    We HIP HOP to the greatest beats and rhymes
    And we only remember the best of times,
    So do not write checks you can not cash
    Otherwise, I will drop the mike and be whuppin your ass.

    holla back

  2. #2
    :InSaNe:
    Guest
    7/10

  3. #3
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    elevate...you need to read tha rules before you post in here...yor your pieces are gonna get closed


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  4. #4
    Tha Burnin Sensation 2hot2handle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    illinois
    Posts
    2,047
    Battle Record
    1-17
    I think you got potential. Now ur a newbie here and you need to elevate on ya vocab ( which is better than most newbs that come in) and need to wrok on flow. Try usin more metaphors and stay away from basic. Now I realize its the music u listen to. If you listen to most mainstream Im not surprised. But to get better listen to more guys. Ive been listenin to a lot of wu tang clan and I think its helpin me. Listenin to Nas helps me. Check some of the doper cats and get some ideas.

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    "I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

    - Martin Luther King Jr.


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    View this from last year^

  5. #5
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    the bowdoin street projects
    Posts
    14

    u a bitch and u got no talet my nigga i got to break ur dreams

    Quote Originally Posted by DaWhyteTyger
    I'm new here, been observing for a couple of weeks, and I think I have what it takes...I wrote this a few months back, let me know what you think.



    I don't rob dudes or steal too much
    I won't murder you or kill for a dutch
    I heal what I touch, put it to a good use
    I squeal with the clutch, slug back the juice
    I don't drink too much, that ain't my style,
    No point in losing control of self for a high
    There's no need to be muddy when you can fly
    Above a shitty life, towards higher purpose
    Get up out from the gutter, reach for the surface.
    My creative juices flow like none other
    Every minute ideas come, one, then another
    Show love to my brother, through thick and thin
    Unconditional kind, like is given from Him,
    I write on a whim, never play around
    I write what I think, and I'll stay my ground
    Take what I found, and draw from it inspiration
    I blaze with a sound that's understood in every nation
    This rap game is not what it used to be
    Nor will it ever be as when it began
    When singing was not part of the plan.
    God gave me a hand, sent me the right way
    Now I chose my words carefully, cosider what I say.
    Consider what I spray, don't want to inflict hurt
    But I will inflict pain if you covet my shirt
    Or want my success or yet worse, to stop it
    There are some people that say "I got a gun and I'll pop it"
    That's when I drop it, and kick them in the face
    I jump in my ride and begin the chase
    I can beat the case, if it ever gets to court
    Self defense is not fault, but I ain't the sort
    To start shit that could put others in harm's way
    So I will distract and the game--I'll play.
    I will get the fool in an alley, one-on-one
    In the meantime I've dialed 9-1-1
    Got a whole squad coming to back me up
    But first I got a qualm, cuz dude stuck ME up
    I have never fought for stakes this high
    I might just black out, If I'm to get by
    If you hear no words come from my lips
    The next thing you see might be is your blood-as it drips
    A busted lip, you'll be taking to the station
    Now once again...this is the sound of every nation
    We HIP HOP to the greatest beats and rhymes
    And we only remember the best of times,
    So do not write checks you can not cash
    Otherwise, I will drop the mike and be whuppin your ass.

    holla back
    u a bitch u can lean back like a clutch/
    and i like trees sop u can get killed for a dutch/
    im like a boulder on ur baq nigga im to much/
    so u my nigga u bout to feel the pain/
    wat u kno about standin in the brix sellin kane/
    u talkin bout whoopin ass please nigga u cant bang/
    ill walk down ur block and u aint gon do a dam thang/
    but on the real ur time ran out on the clock/
    u a bitch that why u ran out on ur block/
    the bullets is heated thats why they ran out of the glock/
    and after u read this i bet u try to hop on my cock/


    ayo dmg i see u bugzy wats poppin these niggas dont want it thats wat im bringin 4 niggas that want it holla at me bitch

  6. #6
    Visual Chemist
    Guest
    aight man you should be more as a poetic i can see that in you you have nice coming in yuo have plenty of potential you could work on vocabulary but you had some nice structure going on i could actually feel what you was talking about in that verse it was nice you should do more it always helps us learn expecually me nice job though

  7. #7
    Rap's best kept secret SinSeer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    76
    Battle Record
    0-1
    Quote Originally Posted by pnutgottheox
    u a bitch u can lean back like a clutch/
    and i like trees sop u can get killed for a dutch/
    im like a boulder on ur baq nigga im to much/
    so u my nigga u bout to feel the pain/
    wat u kno about standin in the brix sellin kane/
    u talkin bout whoopin ass please nigga u cant bang/
    ill walk down ur block and u aint gon do a dam thang/
    but on the real ur time ran out on the clock/
    u a bitch that why u ran out on ur block/
    the bullets is heated thats why they ran out of the glock/
    and after u read this i bet u try to hop on my cock/


    ayo dmg i see u bugzy wats poppin these niggas dont want it thats wat im bringin 4 niggas that want it holla at me bitch
    if guns is the topic, i'll admit no knowledge
    but i got something on you dude-im going to college
    i forget things better than your lyrics will ever be
    my grammar is top notch, and i'm winning the spelling bee
    so if ya as hood as you really think you are
    come find the battle post, im'a make you a star

    thanx to everybody for their comments, i appreciate that. i'm looking to Mos Def right now, and Dead Prez. Any other suggestions besides Nas and the Wu?

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