rap heaven

[Cypher]

no aks no techs it's a clean rap hood
where every emcee escapes to rap good
no broken bones it's a true Mc's rap heaven
spittin rhymes for life from 2 to 11
if ya'll doubt me dont care been there done that
i doubted myself till i listened to da throwbak
those MCs speak wit heart aint some contract can stop 'em,
they spit their flow and encourage other even death can't mop 'em
i just always think of afterlife will jesus save our souls
or will tha escalator drop us to hell with gasoline to our death holes
so i'm a finish dis as a r.i.p. and good luk
to big pun, easy-e, notorious, and tupac

[TruTh C]

hey homie..i was feelin the flow it was good..i liked the struture too..the rhyming was cool,you should try to make it a lil' longer next time though iight.but it was good

[Cypher]

yeah i'll try any1 else lookin for feedbak

[sILLable]

make longer...fix your structure....rhyme scheme and use some multis...you got potential...i liked tha message though..keep elevatin and droppin.~1~

[InfamousKOS]

word

[Crazy Flowz]

thnx fo rfeedbak every1 uppin

[Ace the Prophet]

yeah..i just think you need to make things more complex..and if you improve your actually rhymin you'll be hot. like, instead of rhymin 1-3 syllables, elevate to 4-6 syllables. It'll make your rhymes hotter just cuz it rhymes more..but yeah man, like they said, you definitely got potential. just keep elevatin. aight man? return the fave, peace

[Sammy B]

This topic was too broad. A couple of your lines were stretched as well. Simple vocab and rhymes were forced such as the 2-11 line. No emotion was conveyed in this piece which makes it redundant. You definately need to work on a lot of areas before you start writing better verses.

[Play-Boy187G]

Yo I was feelin' the content of it, good topic. Flow and structure was good. Only thing I can say is try throwin some multis at us, and do more word images like the hell elevator line. It was a good write, wish it was longer. Keep flowin homie.
-Play-Boy

[Cypher]

yepyep

[McSin]

flow was fine rhyme scheme was bad and ya should really use more multis and then i think ya stuff will be hot as fire.

[Kr4CK3D C3LLZ]

i much agrered with diverse. the messgae was there kid but u gatta pick up ur structure. try to extend tha vocab. make barz longer. but keeep tha shit cummin kid.

[Cypher]

cool i'l do that

[:.Apollo.:]

pretty much the same as everyone else said... you up the vocab and have a lil bit better wordplay, than you could have a dope rap... take that same rap and revise it, or do what you do to try to make it a lil bit better...
Nice flow though, good structure as well...
Keep Droppin...
1

[:.Apollo.:]

check out my drop in Om and tell me what you think