::..Tha Beast Above..::

[sILLable]

tha beast above me took my posession,viewed confessions
on lessons and im guessin no more askin him questions
star of the demi gods,with held tha power from tha pit
assume my tower has been hit,raided and stripped,i flipped
tha sound drowns my ears,hide it with a crowned fear
how to astounds clear,devote my notes to tha hound
then inbound steer,tha beast release his jaw to show teeth
gruesome,two sided complete with heat below cheek
tha lights defined as it shines out of this small openin
you feel tha presence of a present,hopin you would open it
when my stars in clear view,hand stretched to grasp
know where to veer to,tha plans been etched to last
he opens fully & i set it up,cast tha spell,so his head erupts
tha star falls from tha crevice,so no more endeavors
this land lookin red and weathered,his head i severed
no clever comments,comets fallin forever bombin,yes im on it.

[sILLable]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219550

1

[sILLable]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219590

2

[Johnny 6-feet]

A nice little spit, the imagery stood out for me and i dug the topic. Your vocab was strong but not over the top and the multi's you used kept the flow of the piece on point. My only real complaint is that this is too short. Would lie to see you expand on the topic. A good read though.

Keep posting, and please return the favour: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219372

[Miss_Jess]

I'm feeling the whole concept of your piece, I like the topic you chose and like the person above me said: the only negative comment I have is that it is too short, I would have loved to read more. The emotion was there, you expressed feelings and thoughts in a vivid way combined with a excellent imagery. I could picture everything as though it was a movie flashing in front of my eyes. The flow was on point due to the internal rhyming, the multis and such. The vocab was well chosen, good level of complexity yet still easy to understand.

Solid piece!

[The Vortex]

i diidnt like much the first set of rhymes, ie the "tion" "sion" endings seemed a bit basic tho the line content was good still
format is mad tite
interesting concept and nice poetic touches

bit too short but great piece neway

stays up

one

[sILLable]

thnks up.

[sILLable]

up.

[Daemon]

It was too small of a piece, and the font was too small. The purple font didn't do much for me either, I dragged it into a separate document so I could read it, but it was worth it. It had good multis and imagery, a nice concept and some good material. Not much I can say that other people have and/or will say. Keep on dropping, man.

[The NerveCalmer]

damn. that was dope as fuck.... i could feel the emotion in it.........like it came to me, and the multis were nice, and u stayed on topic the whole time, i like this piece, good shit....... leave feed on my collab wit alize59...Survival thanks.

[Acey]

i know the picture that originally goes with it, so therefor i think this piece should've been posted including that image.
'cause when i first read it there, i was feeling it more sorta.
its a pretty nice piece of text man.
flow was good, imagery was the strenght of this piece..altough i would've loved to see this was a little bit longer though.
still pretty good.

[sILLable]

thanks for tha replys...up.

[2hot2handle]

You had great vocab and great flow. But please use bigger font. It was hard to read and short. Imagery was good and the first few lines I knew it would be good. Good job and good metaphors. Keep workin on ya shit and dont quit.

[sILLable]

i appreciate tha feed..and i made the font slightly larger...up.

[Bugzy Vendetta]

i appreciate tha feed..and i made the font slightly larger...up.

aight you did thang, u tight, but that only makes me wanna battle u more, i like comp.