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Thread: Mirrored Blood ft. Foreshadow

  1. #1
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    Mirrored Blood ft. Foreshadow


    1st - DeNiILL
    2nd - Foreshadow

    Mirrored Blood
    A Mistake...

    Satan, grim, bloodcurdling reapers and killers
    Insanity and profanity is growing deeper within her
    A booze to sip stirs fluent craze, and a devil appears
    a sudden mother has a swing, and out comes a rebel feared
    picking up the sharp knife, grabbing the handel so fierce
    with a deadly intention to take a life by a stab and pierce
    Her sisters betrayal, sparked a womens craze from inside
    a black coat with a jagged blade, and a fast plum ride
    Peeling 100 down foster drive, pupils glued to the street
    jeepers creepers aflow the speakers, a bass vibrating the seat
    a rotten intention to follow, but a self order she must do
    get revenge on a disceptive sister, and impale the knife through
    .
    .
    arriving at the dark house, one room lit with a bearing flame
    standing with a devils eye out on the porch of mary jane

    .
    .
    .
    A gust of sudden rage lurks behind my heart, past love
    Looking at Mary's house deranged, what do I ask of?
    I barge through the door, looking, searching for Mary Jane
    With a insane cerebral image of stabbing a wound with max pain
    I hear a noise from the bedroom... I creep along the shadows
    Desperate to feel blood among my fingers & a stomach so shallow
    A restless sleeper always rolls over to torment & torture
    I pierce the sheet that covers her body & bring to life, The Order
    I hear her last words & I dread the truth knowing it's false
    I'm completely appalled but the mirror is where God forgives all
    Knowing I have scorned Mary Jane's life by cutting at it with haste
    I look closer into the mirror & see the sheet covering Baileys face

    ..Judy's last words before putting the knife in her own heart were

    You were everything to me I never meant to hurt you in such a way
    Bailey my child, I love you & I'm sorry this was your fated day
    Last edited by comadose; July 31st, 2005 at 05:54 PM

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  3. #3
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    bump, buh buh bump bah bump

  4. #4
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    This was dope.
    I liked the imagery from both and i felt emotion through out it.
    The rhyming was great and made it all flow well.
    The story-line was crazy and the way u collabed was interesting because it all connected well.
    keep this shit up.
    peace.

  5. #5
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks ES Uppin...

  6. #6
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Uppin........................

  7. #7
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    this wasnt bad at all a nice little collabo...
    cool concept
    both had nice imagery - had ya wondering whats coming next shits nice
    acouple misspelled words but nothing major
    the emotion was nice also a lot of passion....plenty there
    nice and decent vocabulary by both.definately feeling this not too bad nothing really wrong with this piece
    AI

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    i was feelin this. u should spell check every now adn then though
    but i liked the way the vocabulary fit with the flow good shit
    Having
    A
    Rough
    Rap
    Yet

    Preaching
    On
    Tough
    Times
    Every
    Rhyme

  9. #9
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    Thanks, Upp

  10. #10
    This was a very nice piece fam....Imagery, metas and other literary techniques we used to a very high level in this...Flow was very nice - easy to read, nice use of vocab - juss an overall nice piece y'all - keep doing it!

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  11. #11
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks up.......

  12. #12
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    Word, Up

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    Upppppppp

    jeez

  14. #14
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    nice collab

    you and foreshadow have the same style and both simplify the second line with uncomplex rhyming schemes. Ya'll like the same poets lol. Should partner up or something. Anyway nice read..try maknig your lines more complex. Or ya rhyme scheme.

    Pz
    Always Impervious an Axis Power.


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  15. #15
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    Def. Nice Vocab & Descriptions...Flow Was Crazy, Emotion Was Pretty Good..

    All In All A Very Nice Piece...Props To Both!
    "Sound stuff out guys" - Barcotic

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