Memento

[M9nd Fl_lkt]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215679
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215702







If u havent seen the movie memento, watch it and youll understand this verse a lot better

Every previous day washed away, new memories delayed
mind stuck on one mans malisious ways, wife in tha grave
her life engraved in beautiful ways, new thoughts delayed
over n over memory replayed, bullet sprayed, brain grazed
on the ground i laid, next to my wife, my life murdered n raped
day to day perception swayed, his type is what i now crave
every day combing the streets, i must make em deceased
theyre evil spirits released, hells population increased
No recolection of whats happened, so i use tattoos
Ink interpretin hints and vents out all the clues
Now is natalie my next lady to be or just usin me
supposedly friendly but lies repeaditly named teddy
who is this in dodd guy in my closet duct taped
apparently my actions flawed and memories late
Someones trying to get me to kill the wrong person
mabey i already killed em, burnt em down with arson
Trying to remeber sammy, is he real or just imaginary
kill mrs jenkins cause his memory or was that me?
did i kill my own wife, was i the one to end her life?
no that cant be right, memories flawed, no insight
Whats real whats fake, who killed, did he escape?
how many years has it been. i dont even know the day
was there even an investigation, swept under rug?
was there even a gun that hit my head witha slug
who's car is this, mine or someone's that i killed
whats in the trunk? stuffed with hundred dolla bills
My thoughts dont process, i feel alone i confess
who are these people, my mind they molest
Some memories really are best forgotten
my wifes death has my life begotten

[sILLable]

guess id have to watch tha movie....not to bad....it was tight in the beggining and middle..it started to lack at the end...your structure was aiight....your vocab was aiight and your imagery was average...all in all not a bad piece...needs elevation...keep elevatin and droppin~1~

[M9nd Fl_lkt]

uppin

[Bruklor]

This was actually kind of cool. A nice idea, since it was a great movie.

Keep it up.

[M9nd Fl_lkt]

Thanks for the reply

[The Wardon]

Good work keep it up!

[RockMan]

b0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo Nuff said

[warchild]

This was a decnt piece obviously you was trying to tell a complicated story but it was lacking in places seemed like you lost your way halfway through.
The story telling was decent the imagery was above average but i think you should of mixed in some more graphic detail so you can catch the readers attention. It was a decent piece but i think you should work on it again try and up the flow and this could be a very good piece.

Return the feed:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=226496

[DownLow'nDirty]

Warchild..it was prolly lackin cuz you read it normally..read it backwards..
it connects better that way..
its good..
i do agree with the lack off graphic details and that you should polish it up a bit..

Pz.