A small town, teens life, mind over matter.

[SimonSays]

This is it I cant’ take it no more
And as I head for the door
I stop to think, I’ve done this all before
Getting tired of this waging war
Again I hold my hands up to the lord
Hoping that he will take me, and upon my soul he will gorge
Wishing him to destroy relationships, and let new ones forge
Shit, let them burn I’ll hand him the torch
I stand strong but with holes, just an unfinished porch
No game plan for me, I’ve nothing to thwart
My life’s coming to an end, just as all must
So I hope before that time comes, I can shake off the dust
An aspiring emcee? No not me, just a pastime see
I don’t’ ever see myself contributing to the industry
A stress technique that’s just for me to help release
Mixed emotions I have about people and me
And as I write more and more I begin to include
Situations and scenarios that I think are meant for fools
But depart as I may, one piece of advice left
Anger may be subsidized in a piece I have made
But subliminal thoughts left behind, are where it’s at.

[SimonSays]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=194229

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215773

[Greens.]

Very nice drop i am really feeling this one. All your lines were perfect, silky smoothe, with nice flows. Very good vocab, and word play. And a lot of good multis. There wasnt one bad thing i could find in this.

[SimonSays]

Thanks for feed, I hit one of your pieces up.

[SimonSays]

Up.

[the_madhatter]

Pretty much the same with me. There wasnt really nothin BAD wrong wit it. This sounds like it was done to a beat, so thats why everything connects when i read it. But yea it was a good flow around, good word usage, and good structure. So basically, it was a good effort, but it doesnt seem finished though, so I think you could've extended it. But still good.

Hey when you get chance, check out one of my pieces.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=216791

[SimonSays]

Thanks for the feed, your link has been hit up.

[EyeBite]

iight structure was oof but fuck it...the rhymes were tight homie........the topic was interesting...title caught ma eye.....great job on those........great choice of words to support your topic...this was dope...great job...keep it up.. keep droppin.............
the linkz are in my sig hit em' up , thx

[SimonSays]

Thanks, skribble your links don't work, so if you see this update your sig.

[SimonSays]

Up.

[SimonSays]

^You must be kidding me.

Up.

[SimonSays]

Up. I always reply, text battles, songs, audio battles whatever, even if its' just some thread you want people to see.

[Daemon]

Pretty decent vocabulary, and a bit of a fucked up scheme. A good topic and you worked with it well. A good choice of words to rhyme with and it came together decently. The title was pretty original, and nothing really stood out as being full of holes or faulty. Overall, a pretty good piece. 8/10.

Hit this up when you've got the time: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=217762

[CrazyCarl]

The content started off simple, although you kept that first outer mutli for a nice length, and it didn't feel as if you went off topic. I liked the second half better, with a more complex message. There was also some internal rhyming in that half as well, helped to make it a smooth read. The emotion for the verse was solid.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=216255

[SimonSays]

Good feedback, links are hit up.