Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 21

Thread: The Peons Anthem . . .

  1. #1
    Banned Vylint's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,311
    Battle Record
    1-4

    The Peons Anthem . . .

    HAULT!
    Rise to your feet with perfect posture
    and precision, poundin poisin proper
    I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
    or three hundred and forty three times
    with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
    got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding
    I got life as a canvas and bloods my paint
    i'd draw u a picture, but realitys a mindstate
    Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
    "Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you
    Burn alive, avenge the aftermath of the kings horse
    Fly into a flaming sun, what u think god gave u wings for?
    Catch a foot to the face, die, ur the best of the worse
    Slit ur wrists and wear ur pride as a stain on ur shirt
    I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
    I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
    Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
    And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    157
    Rise to your feet with perfect posture
    and precision, poundin poisin proper
    I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
    or three hundred and forty three times
    with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
    got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding

    That part had alot of Imagery.. Nice wording and Structure
    This was def Hot as fuck

    I got life as a canvas and bloods my paint
    i'd draw u a picture, but realitys a mindstate
    Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
    "Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you
    Burn alive, avenge the aftermath of the kings horse
    Fly into a flaming sun, what u think god gave u wings for?
    Catch a foot to the face, die, ur the best of the worse
    Slit ur wrists and wear ur pride as a stain on ur shirt
    I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
    I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
    Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
    And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage

    This last section was fire... What can I say Vys the FUCKIN MAN


    Vote/HOF

  3. #3
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Home.
    Age
    35
    Posts
    11,866
    Battle Record
    16-3
    Word, good imagery, glad to see you are getting back into topical.

    i think you should squad up with Mondo Thugs again, you got all pissed cuz Jacent mentioned you in an OM and bailed .

    come back! but anyway, i thought the whole plot of it all was awesome, the opener and the whole start of the word was brilliant, short, and to the point... beautiful.

    had everything.
    MondoThugs.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Meta. Convicts

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,772
    Battle Record
    7-5
    The beginning was kind of slow but when it got to the middle u shined out...The more metas u put in made it that much better to read...Ur style was good and ur vocab was aight in some spots...U had the dominant I dont give a shit 50-cent going and all around was a little bit above average verse...GJ

  5. #5
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    55
    Posts
    20,733
    Battle Record
    212-103
    Awards LLL Season Champion LLL HOF 200+ Wins
    I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
    I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
    Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
    And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage


    Honestly, Vy...this was kinda pooh compared to what I've seen you write...

    But, damn...those last four lines were bad ass.

    Props to them!

  6. #6
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Home.
    Age
    35
    Posts
    11,866
    Battle Record
    16-3
    Yeah, it was dope.
    MondoThugs.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Meta. Convicts

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  7. #7
    bitch.
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Indianapolis
    Age
    35
    Posts
    2,114
    Battle Record
    11-25
    This whole fuckin verse was hot. The beginning really caught my eye, and for the FIRST fuckin time here on RB, a line made me lol.

    "I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
    or three hundred and forty three times"

    And this line right here was a good way of getting yourself over with the reader...

    "with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
    got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding"

    Here go another hot line, that also made me smirk a lil...

    "Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
    "Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you"

    And, this line was deep, I really liked the way it was worded...

    "Catch a foot to the face, die, ur the best of the worse
    Slit ur wrists and wear ur pride as a stain on ur shirt"

    The whole verse was dope as fuck, but those were the ones that appealed the most to me. I really like Ur attitude of "Fuck the world", not very many people can express that without looking either fuckin stupid or really corny. In fact, the only other person I can think of that plays that image well is Shady. And after I read this, U reminded SO MUCH of him. Seriously. U got some mad skills. You can get Ur point acrossed with like 5 or 6 words a line, and even make it deep and really stand out to the reader.

    Im nominating this...

    Overall rate - 10/10

  8. #8
    This was pretty dope, the flow, the content, the topic.. nice drop Teflon.

    Good shit.

  9. #9
    Newbie Macanatix757's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    chicago,illinois
    Age
    41
    Posts
    45
    Battle Record
    0-1
    I got life as a canvas and bloods my paint
    i'd draw u a picture, but realitys a mindstate
    Theres a thousand words asshole, now take two
    "Fuck You." You aint taught me shit but to hate you


    nice nice i like the ryhme scheme and the over all was id say 9/10

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    Its Light V.S. Dark Get Ready For War

  10. #10
    Im Cool. JAY DOT.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Age
    42
    Posts
    1,023
    Battle Record
    1-6
    keep it up. the imagery on that was on point and the flow was mostly fine.
    "Spitshake with God!" Also told a good story.

  11. #11
    Banned Vylint's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,311
    Battle Record
    1-4
    Thanks ya'll for the mad love, one up.

  12. #12
     
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Age
    33
    Posts
    4,172
    Battle Record
    1-0
    i luh vylint

    Rise to your feet with perfect posture
    and precision, poundin poisin proper
    I tried suicide once, or jeez, twice...
    or three hundred and forty three times
    with a bomb, barrel, and a bowl of lightning
    got the reaper in the darkest corner... hiding

    imagry



    I've got a big face, demonic, with a misplaced onyx
    I'll Make god a promise to overthrow him and spitshake on it
    Fuck a peice of the pie, I get cake, honest
    And eat it with my hands to show my ancestors homage

    hard ass like a mutherfucker.

    nice vylint... s'why on the dopest are competition.
    keep it up.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  13. #13
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Philly
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,270
    Battle Record
    1-1
    Damn, nice fucking piece Vy. That shit was a real good read.

    I always like reading your Open Mics because...
    they're 100 times better than your battle verses.

    No, but the real reason is I like how original every piece is.
    I've never seen you write a piece with a concept that's been done before.
    This....was one of your best I'd say.
    Definitly deserves a hall of fame look.
    Good shit yo.

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    9,864
    rofl, some twisted shit man rofl. it was surprisingly nice man, you used some weird wording and some hella weird phrases....devil y0, but werd, i really enjoyed this twisted shit from ou vy, im hoping to see more of this lol .....i was supposed to be in this o_0 ;D

    well im out y0, pz and GJ

  15. #15
    Banned Vylint's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,311
    Battle Record
    1-4
    ups.

Similar Threads

  1. This is my anthem
    By doesnotexist in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: September 19th, 2006, 10:09 PM
  2. B.R.E Anthem.....(PT.1)
    By Bashire in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: August 19th, 2003, 04:00 PM
  3. N.Y.G Anthem
    By Bad News in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: August 1st, 2003, 11:41 AM
  4. anthem#2
    By Jimmy-K in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: June 28th, 2002, 05:09 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •