Aiight Man I Got You Good Looking Out
Aiight Man I Got You Good Looking Out
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holy fuck man, seriously, this is bein major slept on, i kinda feel bad for usin this for a link to my OM
but wow, what can i say, good flow, good lyrics, full of emotion, very deep, it definately kept me reading, and i like how you did it too, good story tellin
shit amn, keep up the good work
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Thanks Man, Look Out For The Other Chapters Dawg
Deep shit brother i feeling where you come from on this one you know i've bin with you through out the whole thing man. So any time you need help jsut let me know brother. I feel the emotion in this piece here with out no doubt i guarantee you this will become open mic of july.On the real brother 10/10
Damn Dawg Thanks Man
Bumping This Piece............
Fuck Dawg Upping This
Yo ven.. got to read a bit of this in your tryout but I was tired that day so didn't go all the way into the whole thing. Just recently got the chance to do so.
Overall, this was really nice. Well written, well put together and thought out piece. Concept is great, I've seen it done before but not quite the same, this was done on another level and taken to a different degree or seriousness. Rhyme scheme was pretty nice throughout, and liek i said, the concept and way it was written are my two favorite aspects about it. Real nice.. keep up.
PandorasBox
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Open Mics:
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Nice concept...
first the negative...
fix spelling errors...
tighten up certain lines for the flow...
use all language correctly...
fix grammatical errors...
fix your syntax...
really though...just take the time to do the fine tuning and make the piece overall more cohesive...at poitnsit seemed very jumbled and disorganized...
aside from that, as i initally mentioned the concept is great...a little more could ahve been done with cohesiveness though...
i liked this alot...it's good, interesting, keeps the reader interested which is in ways the primary concern...
8.3/10
fix errors, revise, edit, proofread...and rework a few lines and iron out cohesion issues, and this could be a 10...
one love...
keep writing
Bittersweet
Thanks Dawg Bumping..................
Fuck Man Bumping This
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ight this piece was way good. u did great on emotion and vocab. i was really feelin this piece id give it a 9.5/10. it just wasnt the full 10 for me but it was still a realy good piece. will u vote on my battle.
Good looks Dawg.......
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