Peep

[ADR]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...856#post2703856
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=210062

Damn its beena minute since i've been on the scene.........
wonder if i can work this n e more....

oh well...

......
my devotion for rap runs deep like the endless ocean...
floatin-hopin my lifes blessin's dont go un-noticed...
wanna genie n a pen so u can say u "wish u wrote this".....
u shouldve noticed-u make noise like defuesed explosives....
literally snap ya legs for fun homie u cant approach this.....
here take the ladder to success bet i get the closets.....
this ish is in my gene ya dudes is hopeless so dont provoke it...
u think im jokin take my style microscope it.....

::::SWITCH:::::

...Stuck in the mist of smotherin ish can it be deminished at the cut of a wrist??...
...u say ur the ish making the hits at the top of the charts-i guess it must be a cluttery list??...
...just look at my life i went from thuggin at night to controllin the mic grippen it tite...
...realizing -bra my lifes been "CRAP"s with out ROLLIN the the DICE"


ite peoples my bad im just tryin to get the text i once had back no need to respond or check out but if u'd like say som'n...just tryin to do me right now....

ya figgadeal me...

[ADR]

...common peoples..now i want feed back

[Swordsman]

Whats with the funny looking font? Anyway, this read like a straightforward boast piece with a few decent multi's at the end. And a couple of good one-liners in the middle:

wanna genie n a pen so u can say u "wish u wrote this".....
u shouldve noticed-u make noise like defuesed explosives....

some stronger vocab and an original topic would've been good to see, but this is still a solid verse. not bad.

Please return the favour. pzz.

[six milez]

Whats with the funny looking font? Anyway, this read like a straightforward boast piece with a few decent multi's at the end. And a couple of good one-liners in the middle:

wanna genie n a pen so u can say u "wish u wrote this".....
u shouldve noticed-u make noise like defuesed explosives....

some stronger vocab and an original topic would've been good to see, but this is still a solid verse. not bad.

Please return the favour. pzz.

i think the shit was hot yo.... sharp like your name ..... some of it did nt go together but over all i would give you 8.5 out of 10 if i had to judge it... check some of my shit out and let me no what you think.

[ADR]

...ty peoples keep'em commin


.....upz........

ya figgadealme

[sILLable]

this piece wasnt bad......your rhyme scheme should have been more broadened...it was simple since you didnt change up your rhyme...ended with tha same rhyming sound....your vocab needs elevation...your multis were alright...had a few good lines...looked kinda fucked up since it was all bold and italic......your structure needs improvement.....and you should pick a topic and stick to it....consistency is a big thing...as well as vocab.....keep droppin and elevatin.~1~

[ADR]

ite i changed the font now it looks ..not so funny

[ADR]

...ZzZ.....^^....

[Mistral]

Needs a Proper title.